Every now and again I have these "ah ha!" moments. One day in my under grad I was sitting in Bro. Bott's class when he walked in the room dressed in giant glasses and a clown nose (and probably other various silly items that I simply can't remember). He talked about who knows what for five or ten minutes and then asked, "Did anyone hear what I just said?" The answer was obvious. No, No, and No. We just sat there wondering why he was dressed the way he was. I was waiting for the punch line, others might have thought it was time for him to retire, or maybe he got dressed in the dark. Either way, we weren't focusing on the words coming out of his mouth. We just stared blankly at him.
Here's the moral of his story...was he wearing anything immodest (which is what we often focus solely on)? No. Was there anything suggestive or immoral about his attire? Not even a little bit. BUT WE WERE STILL DISTRACTED. "Anything that distracts from the message you are trying to send is inappropriate." Talk about a light bulb moment for me at age 18. It's not just about modesty.
Fast forward to a week and a half ago. I was spending probably a little too long on Facebook when I came across an article by Glennon Melton titled Your Body is NOT Your Masterpiece. She likens our bodies to a paintbrush. "Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it's all you've got to offer the world. Your body is not your art, it's your paintbrush. Whether your paintbrush is a tall paintbrush or a thin paintbrush or a stocky paintbrush or a scratched up paintbrush is completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that YOU HAVE A PAINTBRUSH which can be used to transfer your insides onto the canvas of your life -- where others can see it and be inspired and comforted by it.
Your body is not your offering. It's just a really amazing instrument which you can use to create your offering each day. Don't curse your paintbrush. Don't sit in a corner wishing you had a different paintbrush. You're wasting time. You've got the one you got. Be grateful, because without it you'd have nothing with which to paint your life's work. "
Think about that for a moment...My paintbrush has gotten thick, and kind of warn over the years. Now, I could spend my time whittling it to size (as if I could determine a 'correct' size), adorning it with color and putting it on display. OR I could wash it, dry it, condition it and use it appropriately to help me perfect the canvas before me. I could die with a perfect paintbrush that everybody coveted (but will ultimately whither away in the ground) and a perfectly blank canvas, OR I could die with an average paintbrush lying next to a colorful image of a life well lived. Everyone might not like my paintbrush, but at least they'd see what it accomplished and they'd know WHO I AM and WHAT I STAND FOR.
Between Brother Bott's lesson and Glennon Melton's article, I think I've had a complete "ah ah!" moment... One I definitely had to share.
Now, let's chat about about this paint brush and canvas in another way (holding up a paint brush and canvas). Let's say I decide I want to paint a masterpiece. Can I pick up my paintbrush, put it to the canvas and have at it? What else do I need (grab the Tupperware of paint).
Think about that for a moment...My paintbrush has gotten thick, and kind of warn over the years. Now, I could spend my time whittling it to size (as if I could determine a 'correct' size), adorning it with color and putting it on display. OR I could wash it, dry it, condition it and use it appropriately to help me perfect the canvas before me. I could die with a perfect paintbrush that everybody coveted (but will ultimately whither away in the ground) and a perfectly blank canvas, OR I could die with an average paintbrush lying next to a colorful image of a life well lived. Everyone might not like my paintbrush, but at least they'd see what it accomplished and they'd know WHO I AM and WHAT I STAND FOR.
Between Brother Bott's lesson and Glennon Melton's article, I think I've had a complete "ah ah!" moment... One I definitely had to share.
Now, let's chat about about this paint brush and canvas in another way (holding up a paint brush and canvas). Let's say I decide I want to paint a masterpiece. Can I pick up my paintbrush, put it to the canvas and have at it? What else do I need (grab the Tupperware of paint).
Can anyone tell me how the paintbrush and the paint relate to each other? Is one more important than the other? Do you value one over the other?
What if we say you're the paintbrush...and your future husband is the paint. How would you feel about that? Now do you value one over the other?
(On the table I'll have a display of many items...) Just as the nail needs the hammer, the pencil needs the sharpener, and the shoe needs the lace, the paint brush needs paint. One is NOT better than the other. They were simply made for a different purpose. And when they are used the way their creator intended, they come together to create a master piece that neither one could have accomplished on their own.
What are some of the ways men and women compliment each other (generally-Heaven knows there are always exceptions)? Here are just a few:
-Women tend to be gentle and kind. Men tend to be rough and tough
-Men are crazy adventurous (that's me trying to be tactful), while women tend to understand the concept of self preservation
-Women want to talk things out while men want to find a solution
-GENERALLY speaking, women gravitate towards children. They love them and have a desire to nurture them. And men, GENERALLY, have the desire to provide and protect. These traits are not accidental. They are part of the design of our Heavenly Father.
We know for certain that the Lord expects men and women to embrace these traits and use them to our advantage both as couples and as families. "We worked together, through the divinely inspired council system that operates even at the highest levels of the Church, to craft a proclamation that would make the Lord’s position on the family so clear that it could not be misunderstood." -Elder M. Russel Ballard, The Sacred Responsibilities of Parenthood (Hand out their own copies of The Family: A Proclamation to the World)
Who can point out what the proclamation says about the relationship between and the responsibilities of men and women (paragraphs 4-7)?
" Men and women joined together in marriage need to work together as a full partnership. However, a full and equal partnership between men and women does not imply the roles played by the two sexes are the same in God’s grand design for His children. As the proclamation clearly states, men and women, though spiritually equal, are entrusted with different but equally significant roles. These roles complement each other. Men are given stewardship over the sacred ordinances of the priesthood. To women, God gives stewardship over bestowing and nurturing mortal life, including providing physical bodies for God’s spirit children and guiding those children toward a knowledge of gospel truths. These stewardships, equally sacred and important, do not involve any false ideas about domination or subordination. Each stewardship is essential for the spiritual progression of all family members, parents and children alike." Ballard, Sacred
How is this different than what the world teaches? (to each their own, eat, sleep and be merry, etc.) "You need only to read a newspaper or turn on the television to see how openly and viciously the war against the family is being waged. Gender is being confused, and gender roles are being repudiated. Same-gender marriage is being promoted in direct opposition to one of God’s primary purposes—for His children to experience mortality." Ballard, Sacred
Why is it important for us to understand this concept? (How we feel about ourselves, our spouses, and our children. How we vote, conduct ourselves, teach our children etc.)
"The family is not just the basic unit of society; it is the basic unit of eternity." Ballard, Sacred
"When you stop and think about it from a diabolically tactical point of view, fighting the family makes sense. When Satan wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he doesn’t poison the world’s peanut butter supply, thus bringing the Church’s missionary system to its collective knees. He doesn’t send a plague of laryngitis to afflict the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He doesn’t legislate against green Jell-O or casseroles. When Satan truly wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he attempts to confuse gender and he attacks God’s plan for His children. He works to drive a wedge of disharmony between a father and a mother. He entices children to be disobedient to their parents. He makes family home evening and family prayer inconvenient. He suggests family scripture study is impractical. That’s all it takes, because Satan knows that the surest and most effective way to disrupt the Lord’s work is to diminish the effectiveness of the family and the sanctity of the home." Ballard, Sacred
What are father's supposed to do?
Provide, preside (in love and righteousness), teach their family the gospel, lead in kindness following the counsel found in D&C 121, perform priesthood ordinances/give priesthood blessings, prayer for and with their family, set an example of respect and love for their eternal companion/mother of their children, seek to be worth of His name and His blessing and seek constantly for the guidance of the Holy Ghost, serve the family and the church in the spirit of love and enthusiasm, protect their family physically and spiritually, AND "On a day-to-day basis, fathers can and should help with the essential nurturing and bonding associated with feeding, playing, storytelling, loving, and all the rest of the activities that make up family life." Ballard, Sacred
What are mother's supposed to do?
"Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child’s unique abilities, and attending to children’s needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing. It hardly needs saying that nurturing is best carried out in a stable, safe, family context.
A mother’s nurturing love arouses in children, from their earliest days on earth, an awakening of the memories of love and goodness they experienced in their premortal existence. Because our mothers love us, we learn, or more accurately remember, that God also loves us." Ballard, Sacred
Who can remind me of the details of the 2,000 stripling warriors?
48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.
Sister Julie B. Beck wrote an article for the Liahona entitled "Mothers Who Know". Let's break her talk up and discuss what it means to be a mother who "knows." (physically cut the talk into sections, hand them out to the girls and ask them to read them and be ready to discuss them)
Mothers who know: Bear children, Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants, Are Nurturers, Are Leaders, Are Teachers, Do Less, and are strong and immovable. (We'll discuss each other these points)
How do each of these things compliment the roles of husbands and fathers? Could we do all that we are asked to do without the help of these men?
Women and Men are BOTH so valued and loved by our Heavenly Father. They are equal, but different. This is by DIVINE DESIGN. I know this at the core of who I am. I am so grateful for a father who loves me and has a plan for me; a father who gave me talents to share and goals to accomplish. I am thrilled to know that I am an individual of great importance and uniqueness and that the Lord has high expectations for me. I'm also eternally grateful for the wisdom of having a helpmate in this experience we call life.
I want to share a clip from a man who I miss very much. It's called, "The Women in our Lives."
"Their duality is His design. One is incomplete without the other...Every woman is a daughter of God. You can not offend her without offending him. The women in our lives are endowed with particular qualities, divine qualities to cause them to reach out in kindness and with love to those about them...How thank I am. How thankful we all must be for the women in our lives. God bless them."
(If there is time, we'll define duality in your own words..."The quality or state of having two parts")
You young women are destined for great things. "Be of good cheer. God did no place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents (I would add student/sibling/missionary etc.) will not be counted as failure unless you give up."
You young women are destined for great things. "Be of good cheer. God did no place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents (I would add student/sibling/missionary etc.) will not be counted as failure unless you give up."
I love you, your parents love you, and the Lord loves you. I hope we all recognize what great value we have, and what added value our eternal companions will add to our lives if we choose wisely and work together.
