What Is Zion?

"Zion" can be defined as several things (these examples come from "True to the Faith").
1. A very broad and general definition of "Zion" is found in D&C 97:21.  Zion is "the pure in heart."
2. "Zion" is also used to refer to the Lord's people or the church and it's stakes D&C 82:14
3. It has meant a specific geological spot.
A. In the early years of the church, members were encouraged to build up "Zion" by collectively gathering in one spot (SLC).
B. The City of Enoch
C. The ancient city of Jerusalem
D. The New Jerusalem, which will be built in Jackson County, Missouri
4. "Zion" can also mean wherever you live and preach the gospel.  Currently, saints are encouraged to build up "Zion" wherever they are.  Our leaders ask us to establish the gospel in our native lands.

However, "Zion" also describes a state of being:

Zion is Zion because of the character, attributes, and faithfulness of her citizens. Remember, “the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them” (Moses 7:18). If we would establish Zion in our homes, branches, wards, and stakes, we must rise to this standard. It will be necessary (1) to become unified in one heart and one mind; (2) to become, individually and collectively, a holy people; and (3) to care for the poor and needy with such effectiveness that we eliminate poverty among us. We cannot wait until Zion comes for these things to happen—Zion will come only as they happen.

I really want to drive home the idea of UNITY.  So, I'm going to put a "hang man" on the board and ask them what Sister Tall would redefine or describe "Zion" as... (the answer will be "unity")

Unity

"The Lord Jehovah will return to live with those who have become His people and will find them united, of one heart, unified with Him and with our Heavenly Father." President Henry B. Eyring

While I want to focus on unity among ourselves, I do want to point out that we must ALSO be unified with our Father in Heaven and our Savior.

As we consider the unity required for Zion to flourish, we should ask ourselves if we have overcome jarrings, contentions, envyings, and strifes (see D&C 101:6). Are we individually and as a people free from strife and contention and united “according to the union required by the law of the celestial kingdom”? (D&C 105:4). Forgiveness of one another is essential to this unity. Jesus said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10).

Do we sometimes hold little things over people's head, maybe even without knowing it? Forgiveness sounds like something we do for big mistakes, but what about little ones? If we fail to forgive others, even in the little things, our feelings add up and hinder our relationships as well as our spiritual progression.

We will become of one heart and one mind as we individually place the Savior at the center of our lives and follow those He has commissioned to lead us. We can unite with President Thomas S. Monson in love and concern for one another. In general conference last April, President Monson spoke to those estranged from the Church and to all of us when he said: “In the private sanctuary of one’s own conscience lies that spirit, that determination to cast off the old person and to measure up to the stature of true potential. In this spirit, we again issue that heartfelt invitation: Come back. We reach out to you in the pure love of Christ and express our desire to assist you and to welcome you into full fellowship. To those who are wounded in spirit or who are struggling and fearful, we say, Let us lift you and cheer you and calm your fears” (“Looking Back and Moving Forward,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2008, 90).

Side note: As we encourage (ourselves and) others to reach their true potential, do we really allow them to "cast off of the old person?" Or do we only remember the old, unrepentant person?  Are we clouded by the years gone by? Could we be better about allowing people to change? (My own personal experience)

"Tonight we rejoice in our many different roles as women in the Church. Though in many ways we are different and unique, we also acknowledge that we are all daughters of the same Heavenly Father, which makes us sisters. We are unified in building the kingdom of God and in the covenants which we have made, no matter what our circumstances. This combined assembly is, without a doubt, the most glorious sisterhood upon the face of the earth!¹
To be sisters implies that there is an unbreakable bond between us. Sisters take care of each other, watch out for each other, comfort each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin. The Lord has said, “I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.”
The adversary would have us be critical or judgmental of one another. He wants us to concentrate on our differences and compare ourselves to one another. You may love to exercise vigorously for an hour each day because it makes you feel so good, while I consider it to be a major athletic event if I walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. We can still be friends, can’t we?"  ~Bonnie L. Oscarson

"The fact of the matter is, we really and truly need each other. Women naturally seek friendship, support, and companionship. We have so much to learn from one another, and we often let self-imposed barriers keep us from enjoying associations which could be among the greatest blessings in our lives."  ~Bonnie L. Oscarson

What kinds of self-imposed barriers do we create for ourselves and others? What kinds of things can we learn from one another? (This is when I will ask a couple of girls to share their own experiences-they went from being bullies to best friends with one of our other laurels)

"If there are barriers, it is because we ourselves have created them. We must stop concentrating on our differences and look for what we have in common; then we can begin to realize our greatest potential and achieve the greatest good in this world" ~Bonnie L. Oscarson

“I invite you to not only love each other more but love each other better. May we realize just how much we need each other, and may we all love one another better, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen." (BLO)

What ways can we come up with that will help us grow in unity, and love each other better? (introduce my new "prayer stones" and how we'll use them to pray for one another.  I'll introduce them with this quote: You have seen evidence, as I have, that we are moving toward becoming one. The miracle of unity is being granted to us as we pray and work for it in the Lord’s way. Our hearts will be knit together in unity. God has promised that blessing to His faithful Saints whatever their differences in background and whatever conflict rages around them. He was praying for us as well as His disciples when He asked His Father that we might be one. 1

The reason that we pray and ask for that blessing is the same reason the Father is granting it. We know from experience that joy comes when we are blessed with unity. We yearn, as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, for that joy which we once had with Him in the life before this one. His desire is to grant us that sacred wish for unity out of His love for us.
He cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. It is not surprising then that God urges us to gather so that He can bless us. He wants us to gather into families. He has established classes, wards, and branches and commanded us to meet together often. In those gatherings, which God has designed for us, lies our great opportunity. We can pray and work for the unity that will bring us joy and multiply our power to serve.)

As Elder Eyring has also given us a few principles to help us in becoming unified. 

1. Revelation (being worthy of it, seeking it, and being quick to observe)

2. Humility (pride is the enemy of unity)

3. Speaking well of each other (always)

How do you think these principles help increase unity? What are the consequences of these good behaviors?

Earlier, I briefly mentioned two other ingredients needed to create Zion: holiness and caring for the poor.

What does it mean to be holy?...to dwell in righteousness

Much of the work to be done in establishing Zion consists in our individual efforts to become “the pure in heart” (D&C 97:21). “Zion cannot be built up unless it is by the principles of the law of the celestial kingdom,” said the Lord; “otherwise I cannot receive her unto myself” (D&C 105:5). The law of the celestial kingdom is, of course, the gospel law and covenants, which include our constant remembrance of the Savior and our pledge of obedience, sacrifice, consecration, and fidelity.

The Savior was critical of some of the early Saints for their “lustful … desires” (D&C 101:6; see also D&C 88:121). These were people who lived in a non-television, non-film, non-Internet, non-iPod world. In a world now awash in sexualized images and music, are we free from lustful desires and their attendant evils? Far from pushing the limits of modest dress or indulging in the vicarious immorality of pornography, we are to hunger and thirst after righteousness. To come to Zion, it is not enough for you or me to be somewhat less wicked than others. We are to become not only good but holy men and women. Recalling Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s phrase, let us once and for all establish our residence in Zion and give up the summer cottage in Babylon (see Neal A. Maxwell, A Wonderful Flood of Light [1990], 47).

Lastly, we need to see that there are no poor among us.

Furthermore, He declares, “In your temporal things you shall be equal, and this not grudgingly, otherwise the abundance of the manifestations of the Spirit shall be withheld” (D&C 70:14; see also D&C 49:20; 78:5–7).

We control the disposition of our means and resources, but we account to God for this stewardship over earthly things. It is gratifying to witness your generosity as you contribute to fast offerings and humanitarian projects. Over the years, the suffering of millions has been alleviated, and countless others have been enabled to help themselves through the generosity of the Saints. Nevertheless, as we pursue the cause of Zion, each of us should prayerfully consider whether we are doing what we should and all that we should in the Lord’s eyes with respect to the poor and the needy.

We might ask ourselves, living as many of us do in societies that worship possessions and pleasures, whether we are remaining aloof from covetousness and the lust to acquire more and more of this world’s goods. Materialism is just one more manifestation of the idolatry and pride that characterize Babylon. Perhaps we can learn to be content with what is sufficient for our needs.

The Apostle Paul warned Timothy against people who suppose “that gain is godliness” (1 Timothy 6:5).

Said he, “We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

“And having food and raiment let us be therewith content” (1 Timothy 6:7–8).

Now, are there more ways the one to be "poor?" Does lacking in self-esteem count? What about a complete lack of friends? Sometimes, we look at helping "the poor" and only see the exchange of money, or maybe service hours.  These are both necessary and appreciated.  But does it stop there?  Can you offer more?  Are there people around you that you see every day that might also be considered poor?

The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “We ought to have the building up of Zion as our greatest object” (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 186). In our families and in our stakes and districts, let us seek to build up Zion through unity, godliness, and charity, preparing for that great day when Zion, the New Jerusalem, will arise. In the words of our hymn:

Israel, Israel, God is calling,

Calling thee from lands of woe.

Babylon the great is falling;

God shall all her tow’rs o’erthrow. …

Come to Zion, come to Zion,

And within her walls rejoice. …

Come to Zion, come to Zion,

For your coming Lord is nigh.

(“Israel, Israel, God Is Calling,” Hymns, no. 7)

"What Think Ye of Christ?" (part 2)

I have a previous lesson on Christ (already on the blog) that I'll simply build on for this lesson.  I'll ask some of the laurels to come with thoughts/scriptures/quotes/hymns to share and to be ready to answer the questions "What think ye of Christ"?

I have several pictures of Christ that I'll put up...backwards.  They won't be able to see them when they come in the room.  Once they are seated I'll slowly turn them around and as them to tell me how the pictures made them feel.  What thoughts did they have?

What does Immanuel mean? "God is with us."

What does begotten mean? (typically of a man, sometimes of a man and a woman) bring (a child) into existence by the process of reproduction.

"they hoped that the King might beget an heir by his new queen"

synonyms:father, sire, have, bring into the world, give life to, bring into being,spawn
"he begat a son"

What does Messiah mean?

noun

1.the promised deliverer of the Jewish nation prophesied in the Hebrew Bible.


2.a leader or savior of a particular group or cause.
"he was regarded as a messiah by liberal and conservatives alike"What does long suffering mean?
having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people.


What does merciful mean?
compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm


What does atone mean?
make amends or reparation.


What does succor mean?

1. help; relief; aid; assistance.
2. a person or thing that gives help, relief, aid, etc.

Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten Son of God the Eternal Father. He is our Creator. He is our Teacher. He is our Savior. His atonement paid for the sin of Adam and won victory over death, assuring resurrection and immortality for all men.

He is all of these, but he is more. Jesus Christ is the Savior, whose atoning sacrifice opens the door for us to be cleansed of our personal sins so that we can be readmitted to the presence of God. He is our Redeemer.

How Can I Become More Christlike in my Service to Others? (combined with) Is Gratitude Important?

Service.  This is our theme for 2015.  What comes to your mind when you think of service?  Do you think of various activities that qualify as service?  People in need?  Feelings and attitudes you experience while serving?  How about Christ?  Do you think of Christ when you think of Service?

What is it about service that should remind us of Christ? 

Well, what do we know about Christ's life?  How did He serve?

-Matthew 14:13-21 He was "moved with compassion toward them" (loaves of bread and fish)

-John 9:1-7 He served as a way to show us the reality and power of God "but that the works of God may be manifest in him" (healing of the blind man)

-John 13:4-5;12-17 He served absolutely everyone and did so as an example to all.  (washing the feet of the disciples)

-1 Nephi 11:31 He served with undeniable priesthood power and served great MULTITUDES (healing and casting out evil spirits)

-3 Nephi 17:5-9 He was in tune with those he served; he perceived the needs of others (this scripture also goes with the concept of "first observe, then serve")

What motivates Christ to do these things?

John 13:34-35 LOVE-he loves us, and he loves our Father in Heaven

“We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness. … We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.”3 (President Monson)

Did you hear it—the invitation to love one another? For some, serving or ministering one by one, following the Savior’s example, doesn’t come easily. But with practice, each of us can become more like the Savior as we serve God’s children. To help us better love one another, I would like to suggest four words to remember: “First observe, then serve.” (Linda K Burton)

What reasons (both good and bad) do WE have for serving?

-Expectations of others

-Get the recognition

-Make ourselves "look" good

-To have power or dominion over others

"A person without guile is a person of innocence, honest intent, and pure motives, whose life reflects the simple practice of conforming his [or her] daily actions to principles of integrity. "


(Story of Shiblon)

My Book of Mormon hero is a perfect example of a wonderful and blessed soul who was truly good and without guile. Shiblon was one of the sons of Alma the Younger. We are more familiar with his brothers Helaman, who would follow his father as the keeper of the records and the prophet of God, and Corianton, who gained some notoriety as a missionary who needed some counsel from his father. To Helaman, Alma wrote 77 verses (see Alma 36–37). To Corianton, Alma dedicated 91 verses (see Alma 39–42). To Shiblon, his middle son, Alma wrote a mere 15 verses (see Alma 38). Yet his words in those 15 verses are powerful and instructive.

“And now, my son, I trust that I shall have great joy in you, because of your steadiness and your faithfulness unto God; for as you have commenced in your youth to look to the Lord your God, even so I hope that you will continue in keeping his commandments; for blessed is he that endureth to the end.

“I say unto you, my son, that I have had great joy in thee already, because of thy faithfulness and thy diligence, and thy patience and thy long-suffering among the people” (Alma 38:2–3).

In addition to speaking to Shiblon, Alma also spokeabout him to Corianton. Alma said: “Have ye not observed the steadiness of thy brother, his faithfulness, and his diligence in keeping the commandments of God? Behold, has he not set a good example for thee?” (Alma 39:1).2

It appears that Shiblon was a son who wanted to please his father and went about doing what was right for right’s sake rather than for praise, position, power, accolades, or authority. Helaman must have known and respected this about his brother, for he gave Shiblon custody of the sacred records he had received from his father. Surely Helaman trusted Shiblon because “he was a just man, and he did walk uprightly before God; and he did observe to do good continually, to keep the commandments of the Lord his God” (Alma 63:2). As seems truly characteristic of Shiblon, there is not much recorded about him from the time he took possession of the sacred records until he gave them to Helaman’s son Helaman (see Alma 63:11).

Shiblon was truly good and without guile. He was a person who sacrificed his time, talents, and effort to help and lift others because of a love for God and his fellowmen (see Alma 48:17–19; 49:30). He is described perfectly by the words of President Spencer W. Kimball: “Great women and men are always more anxious to serve than to have dominion.”3

In a world where praise, position, power, accolades, and authority are sought on every side, I honor those wonderful and blessed souls who are truly good and without guile, those who are motivated by a love of God and their neighbors, those great women and men who are “more anxious to serve than to have dominion.”

-We like to help others
-It's how we feel the spirit

-We see a need

-It makes us happy
-It makes others happy
-We've been commanded to

-We've made a covenant to

-We love our fellow men

-We want to be like the savior

What reasons do we have for NOT serving?

-laziness, inconvenience

-selfishness

-we are not met with gratitude

Luke 17: 11-19

Christ served, knowing very well he would not be met with gratitude from everyone.  He served anyway.

HOW can we serve?

(Some Examples from Linda K. Burton's talk include:)

-Helping sisters in the temple

-Being up in the night with sick family members

-Cleaning up after natural disasters

-Helping others with their church calling

-Paying special attention to individuals who need extra love

-Inviting someone who is sitting alone to come sit by you

-Helping other sisters with their personal progress
-Remembering the elderly and widowed
-Extending an invitation to someone who never gets picked

-Babysitting (I was so touched and relieved when the YW came with me to the temple to babysit when Mac, Kaylin and Maddy were sealed)

-Thoughtful written notes, texts, emails etc.

-Making a little extra food/dessert and sharing with friends, neighbors and those in need
-Giving rides to people
-Using your skills (sewing, for example-burp cloths, blankets, etc.)

-Reading to younger kids

-Helping mom and dad with house chores

-Walking someone home
-Taking time to simply listen

-Checking on a neighbor

Have any of you had recent experience either giving or receiving service?

Why Is It Important To Be Honest?

Let's start with what we learn about honesty from the scriptures.  I want to hear from you girl too.  What do you think these scriptures mean?  What experiences have you had with being honest/dishonest?

Psalm 101:7; Proverbs 12:22; 2 Corinthians 4:2; Ephesians 4:29;Alma 27:27; Articles of Faith 1:13 (Be honest and upright in all things)

Acts 5:1–10 (We cannot lie to the Lord)

2 Nephi 9:34; Alma 12:1-5 (Dishonesty is a sin with serious consequences)

Joseph Smith—History 1:21–25 (Joseph’s experience of being honest in the face of persecution)

Let's go ahead and define four words: dishonesty, cheating, stealing and lying (let's chat about all the different kinds of lying we can think of...).

Who has examples of these in their life?  Let's talk about them in various situations (at home, school work, etc.)

(I'll use examples for all of these things, if need be, from my lesson in RS on honesty in 2011-found on this blog)

What are some of the negative outcomes of dishonesty? (again, examples on earlier blog post)
What about the negative outcomes for ourselves?

Thoughts-Actions-Habits-Character-Destiny

"The worst lies are the ones you tell yourself" (Dad, tell accompanying cop story)

"Practically all dishonesty owes its existence and growth to this inward distortion we call 'self-justification'." Elder Spencer W. Kimball

"It is the first, the worst and the most insidious and damaging form of cheating--to cheat onself"

So why do we let this happen? Excuses.  What excuses have you heard?

If we are not honest with ourselves, we can not become closer to Christ (Faith circle, put on board).


Stories to use:
(Elder Robert C. Gay)

This is a question that my father taught me to carefully consider years ago. As I was growing up, my parents assigned me chores around the house and paid me an allowance for that work. I often used that money, a little over 50 cents a week, to go to the movies. Back then a movie ticket cost 25 cents for an 11-year-old. This left me with 25 cents to spend on candy bars, which cost 5 cents apiece. A movie with five candy bars! It couldn’t get much better than that.

All was well until I turned 12. Standing in line one afternoon, I realized that the ticket price for a 12-year-old was 35 cents, and that meant two less candy bars. Not quite prepared to make that sacrifice, I reasoned to myself, “You look the same as you did a week ago.” I then stepped up and asked for the 25-cent ticket. The cashier did not blink, and I bought my regular five candy bars instead of three.

Elated by my accomplishment, I later rushed home to tell my dad about my big coup. As I poured out the details, he said nothing. When I finished, he simply looked at me and said, “Son, would you sell your soul for a nickel?” His words pierced my 12-year-old heart. It is a lesson I have never forgotten.

(Family Home Evening Resource Book)

“I had stressed the need for honesty, explaining to my students that many times we don’t even know our integrity is being tested. …

“So my class should have been prepared for the snap quiz I gave them that Thursday afternoon. It was a twenty-question, true-or-false test covering material we had discussed during the week. They finished the test just as the bell rang for dismissal.

“Later that evening I very carefully graded each paper, recording the score in my grade book but leaving no marks on the papers.

“When the class assembled the next morning, I passed the papers back and, as usual, asked that each student grade his own paper. …

“‘Please count five off for each one missed and subtract the total from one hundred,’ I instructed. ‘Your scores please.’

“‘John?’

“ ’85.’

“‘Susan?’

“ ’95.’

“‘Harold?’

“ ’80.’

“‘Arnold?’

“ ’90.’

“‘Mary?’

“The response could hardly be heard: ’45.’

“I went on, putting the grades in my grade book, carefully recording each oral report next to the grade I had recorded the night before. The comparison was revealing.

“A stillness settled on the class when I explained what I had done. …

“‘This was a different kind of test. This test was a test for honesty. Were you true or false? I noticed that many of you looked at Mary when she announced her score of 45. Mary, if you don’t mind, would you please stand up? I want each of you to know that in my book Mary just achieved the highest score in the class. You make me feel very proud, Mary.’

“Mary looked up rather timidly at first, then her eyes glistened as she broke into a smile and rose to her feet. I had never seen Mary stand so tall.” (Wayne B. Lynn, “True … or … False,” New Era, Sept. 1978, p. 11.)

(President Monson)
For some, there will come the temptation to dishonor a personal standard of honesty. In a business law class at the university I attended, I remember that one particular classmate never prepared for the class discussions. I thought to myself, “How is he going to pass the final examination?”

I discovered the answer when he came to the classroom for the final exam on a winter’s day wearing on his bare feet only a pair of sandals. I was surprised and watched him as the class began. All of our books had been placed upon the floor, as per the instruction. He slipped the sandals from his feet; and then, with toes that he had trained and had prepared with glycerin, he skillfully turned the pages of one of the books which he had placed on the floor, thereby viewing the answers to the examination questions.

He received one of the highest grades in that course on business law. But the day of reckoning came. Later, as he prepared to take his comprehensive exam, for the first time the dean of his particular discipline said, “This year I will depart from tradition and will conduct an oral, rather than a written, test.” Our favorite trained-toe expert found that he had his foot in his mouth on that occasion and failed the exam.

What blessings come from being honest? (Ask the girls, use the Strength of Youth Pamphlet)
"When you are honest, you build strength of character that will allow you to be of great service to God and others. You will be blessed with peace of mind and self-respect. You will be trusted by the Lord and will be worthy to enter into His holy temples...Being honest will enhance your future opportunities and your ability to be guided by the Holy Ghost. "

How can we prepare to overcome temptation to be dishonest BEFORE the occasion arises? (Show "Honestey-You Better Believe it!)

God commands that we be honest in all things. When we lie, cheat, or steal, we open ourselves wide to Satan’s influence and close ourselves to God’s influence. If we want to have the Spirit to guide and comfort us, we must be honest with God, with ourselves, and with other people.

A Brief Talk on Friendship (for RS night)

Possible opening quote:

Joseph Smith himself was a great friend to many. He said, “Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism’; [it is designed] to revolutionize and civilize the world, and cause wars and contentions to cease and men to become friends and brothers” (History of the Church, 5:517).

 (From Marvin J. Ashton’s talked entitled, “What is a friend”)

For a few moments enjoy with me some very simple yet powerful recent conversations I’ve had in seeking the true significance of friendship. I asked an eight-year-old girl, “Who is your best friend?” “My mommie,” she replied. “Why?” “Because she is nice to me.”

A priest-age young man was asked the same question. “My bishop.” “Why?” “Because he listens to us guys.”

A 19-year-old girl: “My teacher.” “Why?” “She is always available to me, even after class.”

A 13-year-old boy: “My Scoutmaster.” “Why?” “He does everything with us.”

A prisoner: “The chaplain.” “Why?” “He believes me. He even believed me sometimes when he shouldn’t have.”

A husband: “My wife.” “Why?” “Because she is the best part of me.”

I also asked a few neighborhood kids this question.

The 5 year old said his best friend was his classmate because they did lots of fun things together.  The 9 year old said his best friend is his sister because she’s nice and spends time together.  The 12 year old said it was her mom because she’s kind, they always laugh and have fun together, she always helps her with anything she needs, and she knows she can always talk to her.

What can we conclude from these answers?
1. Friendship has a lot to do with how people feel (Sign: People may forget what you said or what you did but not how you make them feel”

2. Friendship is work (Sign: Stop wishing, star doing)

3. Friendships require time.  The kind we schedule each day, and the time that adds up little by little over days, months, and years. (Sign: Rules for today: 1. A little more laughter 2. A little less worry 3. A little more kindness 4. A little less hurry)

I also want to share with you the top 10 things I’ve learned about making friends over the last few decades.  This isn’t to say I’m successful as any of them, only that I’m trying to improve on them.

Top 10 things that help me make friends:

1. Make NO assumptions and have low expectations

My dearest, closest friends in every ward (longest we’ve ever been anywhere is 22 months) has always been the person I thought was least likely to A. have something in common with me and B. like me enough to spend time with me

2. Time: make (schedule/leave time open) time, take (use the time) time, and remember T.T.T.

I find when I over schedule myself with activities, there’s no time for friends.  But yet, I have to be careful not to leave too much time for friends and not enough for my family

Most things of great value develop over time, not in a single instance or at a single event.

3. Be kind, be thoughtful

…To everyone you can, every opportunity you can…Even to those you find yourself pitted against.

President Abraham Lincoln was once criticized for his attitude toward his enemies. “Why do you try to make friends of them?” asked an associate. “You should try to destroy them.”

“Am I not destroying my enemies,” Lincoln gently replied, “when I make them my friends?”

4. Be hard to offend

Very seldom do people intend to say/do/think things that offend us.  Most often, there is miscommunication, misinformation, or something’s been taken out of context.
But EVEN WHEN there’s a legitimate reason to be offended, don’t be.  It’s hard, but trust me, it’s not worth it.  And usually, the offending party usually comes around.  In the end, it’s water under the bridge. 

5. Reach out, get out of your comfort zone

Somebody’s got to do it and most of the time, everyone will be glad you did! 

Not only is it hard to initially reach out, but once we’re friends, it’s hard to say/do the kinds of things true friends should.

It takes courage to be a real friend. Some of us endanger the valued classification of friend because of our unwillingness to be one under all circumstances. Fear can deprive us of friendship. Some of us identify our closest friends as those with the courage to remain and share themselves with us under all circumstances. A friend is a person who will suggest and render the best for us regardless of the immediate consequences. ~ Elder Marvin J. Ashton

6. Be ready to listen, listen more than you speak

Sometimes, what people really need is to feel as though they are truly heard.

7. Look for opportunities to serve (do your VT!), with the desire to learn to love people as Christ does

-Do small things with great love

- John 15: 12-15

“ 12. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

 13. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

 14. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

15. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” ⁹

“The Savior watches over the struggling member as a friend. He laid down His life for all of us. He loves us and will grant us, if we are faithful, the gift of feeling a part of His love for them.“ Elder Henry B. Eyring (True Friends)

8. Show genuine interest and learn details about people (learn about who they are, what makes them tick), find a common interest

-When you know what’s going on in someone’s life, you show a desire to build a relationship.  You’re also able to find better opportunities to serve them.

9. Seek to improve yourself and increase your knowledge BUT DO NOT compare yourself to others!

-I’m also excited to learn new things.  The more people I talk to, the more I learn!

There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. (as opposed to simply “taking me as I am” and leaving you as you are)

Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me. –Marvin J Ashton

10. Be grateful and remember to reciprocate

-Even a simple thank you note, text or phone call lets people know you not only notice their efforts, but they are appreciated!

“Expect nothing, appreciate everything” sign

Extra quotes to share if needed:

“God knows the needs of His children, and He often works through us, prompting us to help one another. When we act on such promptings, we tread on holy ground, for we are allowed the opportunity to serve as an agent of God in answering a prayer.” Kathleen H. Hughes

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

(Each Life That Touches Ours For Good)

President Monson include the same invitation: “We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness. … We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.”³                  

How Can I Make My Prayers More Meaningful?

How is it that we communicate with our Father in Heaven? (Please attempt to resist rolling your eyes are my elementary question!) Right, through prayer.  We've known this since primary.  How many lessons have we had on prayer?  How many songs have we sung in primary, and as adults, focusing on prayer?  TONS.  Who can name a few songs about prayer?  (Let's look in hymn book)

How about:
Did You Think To Pray?
Prayer Is the Soul's Sincere Desire
Sweet Hour of Prayer
(We'll read them out loud)

What do we learn from these hymns?

When we were taught about prayer in primary, we learned the most basic form of prayer ("Prayer is the simplest form of speech that infant lips can try"-hymn #145).

1. Address our Father in Heaven i.e. "Our dear Heavenly Father"
2. Tell Him what you are grateful for
3. Ask Him for whatever you stand in need of
3. Close in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ (D&C 46:30-31)

But...does a prayer HAVE to look like this?
Absolutely not.
(Gratitude)
Elder Bednar suggests "As we strive to make our prayers more meaningful, we should remember that “in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (D&C 59:21). Let me recommend that periodically you and I offer a prayer in which we only give thanks and express gratitude. Ask for nothing; simply let our souls rejoice and strive to communicate appreciation with all the energy of our hearts."  (If there's time we'll read the story from this talk, "Pray Always" where he talks about learning this lesson.  Can also read Mosiah 26:39)

Giving thanks to our Father in Heaven helps us recognize the love He has for us; our blessings become very apparent and hard to deny.  I've talked about this in the context of my miscarriage before but I'll do it again... The prayer in my heart at the time, surprisingly, was full of gratitude (This is not to say I walked out of the doctor's office happy or that I was never angry, sad, confused or depressed.  This is simply to say that it did come and it came quicker than I expected.  The moment I allowed myself to venture so far as looking for something positive happening, the Lord flooded my mind.--No still birth.  Those I needed most were on break from work/school.  Super supportive neighbors/friends. Instant outpouring of love, even from people I hadn't heard from in years. Ability to truly have empathy. Didn't have time to stew/preoccupation with moving and buying a house.  The list goes on.). There was, and is, plenty to be upset, angry and confused about.  Somehow, miraculously, the Lord allowed me to see all the tender mercies he offered on my behalf.  By focusing on those small miracles, the experience became easier to bear.  I knew that I had to experience that personal tragedy, but that the Lord made it as weightless as He could.  I knew He loved me, without a doubt.  Had I chosen to be ungrateful and angry, I think I'd still be resentful to this day...17 months later.  I absolutely believe that allowing myself to see the good, and acknowledging that it came at the hand of my Father in Heaven was truly a blessing that helped me more than anything else.  I received clarity I never otherwise would have experienced.
"...expressing gratitude more often in our prayers enlarges the conduit for revelation..." (Bednar, Pray Always)
(Pray for others with real intent)
In the primary outline of prayer we learn that after we acknowledge some blessings we should petition the Lord for the blessings we desire.  This is "good and proper" but an important element of prayer is to ALSO (and sometimes INSTEAD OF) pray earnestly for others, "with all of the energy of our souls".  I should note that "praying for others" means "both those whome we love and those who despitefully use us".  Doing this "increases our capacity to hear and to heed the voice of the Lord."
Examples:
Lehi praying in behalf of his people and receiving a "glorious" vision in response (1 NE 1:5, 6-9, 13, 15, 18)
The Savior praying for His Apostles and all of the Saints the night before he was to be crucified (John 17:9, 20, 26)
The Savior healing the sick and praying for the people on the American continent using language that could not be written (3 NE 17:1-16) and the impact was profound (3 NE 17:17).  Imagine being present for such a prayer!

(Counsel with the Lord in all our doings)
So we can make our prayers more meaningful by offering more gratitude as well as by sincerely praying for others.  Additionally, we can make our prayers even more meaningful as we understand our relationship to Him.  When we understand that we are indeed daughters of our God, our prayers "become natural and instinctive."  Rather than simply verbalizing our thoughts to the clouds above our heads, we are having a real conversation with our father.  It's as tangible as if we were talking to our dads while they drive us around in the car or make us dinner.  
As I think about the conversations I have with my earthly father, I think about dinner conversations.  I think about the brief interactions we have as we come and go from the house, the times he teaches me a skill, when we work together on a project, and when we end up having the long, late night conversations.  What we say is most often not revelatory or particularly exciting.  But it's usually fun, in good humor, or important to one or both of us.  Sometimes it's serious.  Sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes it's hilarious.  Just as you'd expect, our interactions vary.
This is how I envision the Lord's desire for us to counsel with him in all things.  As we get ready in the morning, on our way out the door, we tell our dad-this time our Heavenly one-where we're going, what we're doing, and what we hope to accomplish while we're gone.  Sometimes, this is a brief conversation, other's it's loftier.  Then, we chat with him silently while we're driving or walking to class, just updating him on our goals and letting him know of our whereabouts.  We talk to him before/while we eat.  We talk to him when we get home and have a longer conversation before we go to bed.  This time, we talk to him about the day as a whole.  We report on our progress and if we accomplished what we set out to do.  And, if we messed up, we tell Him and ask him to help us be better, forgiving us along the way...like parents do!

"...meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day—and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day...morning and evening prayers are linked to and are a continuation of each other...Such a prayer is a key part of the spiritual preparation for our day. During the course of the day, we keep a prayer in our heart for continued assistance and guidance—even as Alma suggested: “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord” (Alma 37:36)...At the end of our day, we kneel again and report back to our Father. We review the events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the help we received. We repent and, with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord, identify ways we can do and become better tomorrow. Thus our evening prayer builds upon and is a continuation of our morning prayer. And our evening prayer also is a preparation for meaningful morning prayer.

Morning and evening prayers—and all of the prayers in between—are not unrelated, discrete events; rather, they are linked together each day and across days, weeks, months, and even years. This is in part how we fulfill the scriptural admonition to “pray always” (Luke 21:36; 3 Nephi 18:15, 18; D&C 31:12). Such meaningful prayers are instrumental in obtaining the highest blessings God holds in store for His faithful children.

Prayer becomes meaningful as we remember our relationship to Deity and heed the admonition to:

“Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 37:36–37; emphasis added)." (Bednar, Pray Always)

There's one more super significant part of prayer that we haven't talked about yet.  Who can guess which part that is?  Well, I guess it's two part.  First...that when we ask for things, we do so with great FAITH.  Second, we ACT.  That's right, after we say our prayer we must go and DO.

Meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work.

"Simply saying prayers is quite a different thing from engaging in meaningful prayer. I expect that all of us already know that prayer is essential for our spiritual development and protection. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. And even though we recognize the importance of prayer, all of us can improve the consistency and efficacy of our personal and family prayers."

"True faith is focused in and on the Lord Jesus Christ and always leads to righteous action. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “faith [is] the first principle in revealed religion, and the foundation of all righteousness” and that it is also “the principle of action in all intelligent beings” (Lectures on Faith [1985], 1). Action alone is not faith in the Savior, but acting in accordance with correct principles is a central component of faith. Thus, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:20)."

"Prayer is a privilege and the soul’s sincere desire. We can move beyond routine and “checklist” prayers and engage in meaningful prayer as we appropriately ask in faith and act, as we patiently persevere through the trial of our faith, and as we humbly acknowledge and accept “not my will, but Thine, be done.”

(Bednar, Ask in Faith)

Sometimes, DOING means following promptings that come quickly, or continued prayer, fasting, and temple attendance.  Sometimes it means continuing on and enduring a trial while you await inspiration.  Sometimes the work entails aligning your will with God's.  The truth of the matter is, He knows what we need.  All we need to do is be willing to work in whatever way he asks us to in order to achieve that vision.

Bottom line: God loves us.  He wants desperately for us to call home and ask for His help.  As we make the call, we WILL HEAR HIS VOICE.  He WILL help us, love us, forgive us, inspire us, and encourage us.  As we hone the skill of prayer, this interaction will simply get better and we will be blessed even more.

So pick up the phone...I mean, fold your arms, bow your head, and start telling your Father what's happenin'. 

Possibly Activities (time sensitive)

• Divide chapters 17, 18, or 19 of 3 Nephi among the young women. Ask the young women to read their sections and share what they learn about prayer from Jesus Christ’s example and teachings and from the examples of His disciples. What can they do to follow these examples in their own prayers?
• Assign each young woman to study one of the principles of prayer discussed in True to the Faith, pages 119–21, or in the entry about prayer in the Bible Dictionary. Ask the young women to teach the class what they learn. Encourage them to share personal examples when they teach.

Prayer becomes more meaningful as we…
#1. Counsel with the Lord in all our doings (see Alma 37:36-37).

#2. Express heartfelt gratitude.

#3. Pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.

The concept of prayer is not a complicated one. Most of us even know that we're "supposed to pray in the morning, at night, and on our meals, as well as always having a "prayer in our hearts."  Who can tell me what that means?  What does it mean to always have a prayer in your heart?



We must seek God' will when we pray
Prayer should be accompanied by faithful effort
Pray with faith, a sincere heart, and real intent