A Brief Talk on Friendship (for RS night)

Possible opening quote:

Joseph Smith himself was a great friend to many. He said, “Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism’; [it is designed] to revolutionize and civilize the world, and cause wars and contentions to cease and men to become friends and brothers” (History of the Church, 5:517).

 (From Marvin J. Ashton’s talked entitled, “What is a friend”)

For a few moments enjoy with me some very simple yet powerful recent conversations I’ve had in seeking the true significance of friendship. I asked an eight-year-old girl, “Who is your best friend?” “My mommie,” she replied. “Why?” “Because she is nice to me.”

A priest-age young man was asked the same question. “My bishop.” “Why?” “Because he listens to us guys.”

A 19-year-old girl: “My teacher.” “Why?” “She is always available to me, even after class.”

A 13-year-old boy: “My Scoutmaster.” “Why?” “He does everything with us.”

A prisoner: “The chaplain.” “Why?” “He believes me. He even believed me sometimes when he shouldn’t have.”

A husband: “My wife.” “Why?” “Because she is the best part of me.”

I also asked a few neighborhood kids this question.

The 5 year old said his best friend was his classmate because they did lots of fun things together.  The 9 year old said his best friend is his sister because she’s nice and spends time together.  The 12 year old said it was her mom because she’s kind, they always laugh and have fun together, she always helps her with anything she needs, and she knows she can always talk to her.

What can we conclude from these answers?
1. Friendship has a lot to do with how people feel (Sign: People may forget what you said or what you did but not how you make them feel”

2. Friendship is work (Sign: Stop wishing, star doing)

3. Friendships require time.  The kind we schedule each day, and the time that adds up little by little over days, months, and years. (Sign: Rules for today: 1. A little more laughter 2. A little less worry 3. A little more kindness 4. A little less hurry)

I also want to share with you the top 10 things I’ve learned about making friends over the last few decades.  This isn’t to say I’m successful as any of them, only that I’m trying to improve on them.

Top 10 things that help me make friends:

1. Make NO assumptions and have low expectations

My dearest, closest friends in every ward (longest we’ve ever been anywhere is 22 months) has always been the person I thought was least likely to A. have something in common with me and B. like me enough to spend time with me

2. Time: make (schedule/leave time open) time, take (use the time) time, and remember T.T.T.

I find when I over schedule myself with activities, there’s no time for friends.  But yet, I have to be careful not to leave too much time for friends and not enough for my family

Most things of great value develop over time, not in a single instance or at a single event.

3. Be kind, be thoughtful

…To everyone you can, every opportunity you can…Even to those you find yourself pitted against.

President Abraham Lincoln was once criticized for his attitude toward his enemies. “Why do you try to make friends of them?” asked an associate. “You should try to destroy them.”

“Am I not destroying my enemies,” Lincoln gently replied, “when I make them my friends?”

4. Be hard to offend

Very seldom do people intend to say/do/think things that offend us.  Most often, there is miscommunication, misinformation, or something’s been taken out of context.
But EVEN WHEN there’s a legitimate reason to be offended, don’t be.  It’s hard, but trust me, it’s not worth it.  And usually, the offending party usually comes around.  In the end, it’s water under the bridge. 

5. Reach out, get out of your comfort zone

Somebody’s got to do it and most of the time, everyone will be glad you did! 

Not only is it hard to initially reach out, but once we’re friends, it’s hard to say/do the kinds of things true friends should.

It takes courage to be a real friend. Some of us endanger the valued classification of friend because of our unwillingness to be one under all circumstances. Fear can deprive us of friendship. Some of us identify our closest friends as those with the courage to remain and share themselves with us under all circumstances. A friend is a person who will suggest and render the best for us regardless of the immediate consequences. ~ Elder Marvin J. Ashton

6. Be ready to listen, listen more than you speak

Sometimes, what people really need is to feel as though they are truly heard.

7. Look for opportunities to serve (do your VT!), with the desire to learn to love people as Christ does

-Do small things with great love

- John 15: 12-15

“ 12. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

 13. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

 14. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

15. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” ⁹

“The Savior watches over the struggling member as a friend. He laid down His life for all of us. He loves us and will grant us, if we are faithful, the gift of feeling a part of His love for them.“ Elder Henry B. Eyring (True Friends)

8. Show genuine interest and learn details about people (learn about who they are, what makes them tick), find a common interest

-When you know what’s going on in someone’s life, you show a desire to build a relationship.  You’re also able to find better opportunities to serve them.

9. Seek to improve yourself and increase your knowledge BUT DO NOT compare yourself to others!

-I’m also excited to learn new things.  The more people I talk to, the more I learn!

There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. (as opposed to simply “taking me as I am” and leaving you as you are)

Yes, a friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am but who is willing and able to leave me better than he found me. –Marvin J Ashton

10. Be grateful and remember to reciprocate

-Even a simple thank you note, text or phone call lets people know you not only notice their efforts, but they are appreciated!

“Expect nothing, appreciate everything” sign

Extra quotes to share if needed:

“God knows the needs of His children, and He often works through us, prompting us to help one another. When we act on such promptings, we tread on holy ground, for we are allowed the opportunity to serve as an agent of God in answering a prayer.” Kathleen H. Hughes

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

(Each Life That Touches Ours For Good)

President Monson include the same invitation: “We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness. … We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us.”³                  

How Can I Make My Prayers More Meaningful?

How is it that we communicate with our Father in Heaven? (Please attempt to resist rolling your eyes are my elementary question!) Right, through prayer.  We've known this since primary.  How many lessons have we had on prayer?  How many songs have we sung in primary, and as adults, focusing on prayer?  TONS.  Who can name a few songs about prayer?  (Let's look in hymn book)

How about:
Did You Think To Pray?
Prayer Is the Soul's Sincere Desire
Sweet Hour of Prayer
(We'll read them out loud)

What do we learn from these hymns?

When we were taught about prayer in primary, we learned the most basic form of prayer ("Prayer is the simplest form of speech that infant lips can try"-hymn #145).

1. Address our Father in Heaven i.e. "Our dear Heavenly Father"
2. Tell Him what you are grateful for
3. Ask Him for whatever you stand in need of
3. Close in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ (D&C 46:30-31)

But...does a prayer HAVE to look like this?
Absolutely not.
(Gratitude)
Elder Bednar suggests "As we strive to make our prayers more meaningful, we should remember that “in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (D&C 59:21). Let me recommend that periodically you and I offer a prayer in which we only give thanks and express gratitude. Ask for nothing; simply let our souls rejoice and strive to communicate appreciation with all the energy of our hearts."  (If there's time we'll read the story from this talk, "Pray Always" where he talks about learning this lesson.  Can also read Mosiah 26:39)

Giving thanks to our Father in Heaven helps us recognize the love He has for us; our blessings become very apparent and hard to deny.  I've talked about this in the context of my miscarriage before but I'll do it again... The prayer in my heart at the time, surprisingly, was full of gratitude (This is not to say I walked out of the doctor's office happy or that I was never angry, sad, confused or depressed.  This is simply to say that it did come and it came quicker than I expected.  The moment I allowed myself to venture so far as looking for something positive happening, the Lord flooded my mind.--No still birth.  Those I needed most were on break from work/school.  Super supportive neighbors/friends. Instant outpouring of love, even from people I hadn't heard from in years. Ability to truly have empathy. Didn't have time to stew/preoccupation with moving and buying a house.  The list goes on.). There was, and is, plenty to be upset, angry and confused about.  Somehow, miraculously, the Lord allowed me to see all the tender mercies he offered on my behalf.  By focusing on those small miracles, the experience became easier to bear.  I knew that I had to experience that personal tragedy, but that the Lord made it as weightless as He could.  I knew He loved me, without a doubt.  Had I chosen to be ungrateful and angry, I think I'd still be resentful to this day...17 months later.  I absolutely believe that allowing myself to see the good, and acknowledging that it came at the hand of my Father in Heaven was truly a blessing that helped me more than anything else.  I received clarity I never otherwise would have experienced.
"...expressing gratitude more often in our prayers enlarges the conduit for revelation..." (Bednar, Pray Always)
(Pray for others with real intent)
In the primary outline of prayer we learn that after we acknowledge some blessings we should petition the Lord for the blessings we desire.  This is "good and proper" but an important element of prayer is to ALSO (and sometimes INSTEAD OF) pray earnestly for others, "with all of the energy of our souls".  I should note that "praying for others" means "both those whome we love and those who despitefully use us".  Doing this "increases our capacity to hear and to heed the voice of the Lord."
Examples:
Lehi praying in behalf of his people and receiving a "glorious" vision in response (1 NE 1:5, 6-9, 13, 15, 18)
The Savior praying for His Apostles and all of the Saints the night before he was to be crucified (John 17:9, 20, 26)
The Savior healing the sick and praying for the people on the American continent using language that could not be written (3 NE 17:1-16) and the impact was profound (3 NE 17:17).  Imagine being present for such a prayer!

(Counsel with the Lord in all our doings)
So we can make our prayers more meaningful by offering more gratitude as well as by sincerely praying for others.  Additionally, we can make our prayers even more meaningful as we understand our relationship to Him.  When we understand that we are indeed daughters of our God, our prayers "become natural and instinctive."  Rather than simply verbalizing our thoughts to the clouds above our heads, we are having a real conversation with our father.  It's as tangible as if we were talking to our dads while they drive us around in the car or make us dinner.  
As I think about the conversations I have with my earthly father, I think about dinner conversations.  I think about the brief interactions we have as we come and go from the house, the times he teaches me a skill, when we work together on a project, and when we end up having the long, late night conversations.  What we say is most often not revelatory or particularly exciting.  But it's usually fun, in good humor, or important to one or both of us.  Sometimes it's serious.  Sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes it's hilarious.  Just as you'd expect, our interactions vary.
This is how I envision the Lord's desire for us to counsel with him in all things.  As we get ready in the morning, on our way out the door, we tell our dad-this time our Heavenly one-where we're going, what we're doing, and what we hope to accomplish while we're gone.  Sometimes, this is a brief conversation, other's it's loftier.  Then, we chat with him silently while we're driving or walking to class, just updating him on our goals and letting him know of our whereabouts.  We talk to him before/while we eat.  We talk to him when we get home and have a longer conversation before we go to bed.  This time, we talk to him about the day as a whole.  We report on our progress and if we accomplished what we set out to do.  And, if we messed up, we tell Him and ask him to help us be better, forgiving us along the way...like parents do!

"...meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day—and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day...morning and evening prayers are linked to and are a continuation of each other...Such a prayer is a key part of the spiritual preparation for our day. During the course of the day, we keep a prayer in our heart for continued assistance and guidance—even as Alma suggested: “Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord” (Alma 37:36)...At the end of our day, we kneel again and report back to our Father. We review the events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the help we received. We repent and, with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord, identify ways we can do and become better tomorrow. Thus our evening prayer builds upon and is a continuation of our morning prayer. And our evening prayer also is a preparation for meaningful morning prayer.

Morning and evening prayers—and all of the prayers in between—are not unrelated, discrete events; rather, they are linked together each day and across days, weeks, months, and even years. This is in part how we fulfill the scriptural admonition to “pray always” (Luke 21:36; 3 Nephi 18:15, 18; D&C 31:12). Such meaningful prayers are instrumental in obtaining the highest blessings God holds in store for His faithful children.

Prayer becomes meaningful as we remember our relationship to Deity and heed the admonition to:

“Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 37:36–37; emphasis added)." (Bednar, Pray Always)

There's one more super significant part of prayer that we haven't talked about yet.  Who can guess which part that is?  Well, I guess it's two part.  First...that when we ask for things, we do so with great FAITH.  Second, we ACT.  That's right, after we say our prayer we must go and DO.

Meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work.

"Simply saying prayers is quite a different thing from engaging in meaningful prayer. I expect that all of us already know that prayer is essential for our spiritual development and protection. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. And even though we recognize the importance of prayer, all of us can improve the consistency and efficacy of our personal and family prayers."

"True faith is focused in and on the Lord Jesus Christ and always leads to righteous action. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “faith [is] the first principle in revealed religion, and the foundation of all righteousness” and that it is also “the principle of action in all intelligent beings” (Lectures on Faith [1985], 1). Action alone is not faith in the Savior, but acting in accordance with correct principles is a central component of faith. Thus, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:20)."

"Prayer is a privilege and the soul’s sincere desire. We can move beyond routine and “checklist” prayers and engage in meaningful prayer as we appropriately ask in faith and act, as we patiently persevere through the trial of our faith, and as we humbly acknowledge and accept “not my will, but Thine, be done.”

(Bednar, Ask in Faith)

Sometimes, DOING means following promptings that come quickly, or continued prayer, fasting, and temple attendance.  Sometimes it means continuing on and enduring a trial while you await inspiration.  Sometimes the work entails aligning your will with God's.  The truth of the matter is, He knows what we need.  All we need to do is be willing to work in whatever way he asks us to in order to achieve that vision.

Bottom line: God loves us.  He wants desperately for us to call home and ask for His help.  As we make the call, we WILL HEAR HIS VOICE.  He WILL help us, love us, forgive us, inspire us, and encourage us.  As we hone the skill of prayer, this interaction will simply get better and we will be blessed even more.

So pick up the phone...I mean, fold your arms, bow your head, and start telling your Father what's happenin'. 

Possibly Activities (time sensitive)

• Divide chapters 17, 18, or 19 of 3 Nephi among the young women. Ask the young women to read their sections and share what they learn about prayer from Jesus Christ’s example and teachings and from the examples of His disciples. What can they do to follow these examples in their own prayers?
• Assign each young woman to study one of the principles of prayer discussed in True to the Faith, pages 119–21, or in the entry about prayer in the Bible Dictionary. Ask the young women to teach the class what they learn. Encourage them to share personal examples when they teach.

Prayer becomes more meaningful as we…
#1. Counsel with the Lord in all our doings (see Alma 37:36-37).

#2. Express heartfelt gratitude.

#3. Pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.

The concept of prayer is not a complicated one. Most of us even know that we're "supposed to pray in the morning, at night, and on our meals, as well as always having a "prayer in our hearts."  Who can tell me what that means?  What does it mean to always have a prayer in your heart?



We must seek God' will when we pray
Prayer should be accompanied by faithful effort
Pray with faith, a sincere heart, and real intent

How Can The Atonement Help Me During My Trials?

Let's talk trials
(and how they benefit us in the 'long run')

Life is hard.  It just is.  Here's the thing though, life was MEANT to be hard.  Can you believe that? Can you believe we knowingly, willingly signed up and fought for something we knew would be hard (sometimes, ridiculously so)?  The more I think about it, the more happily I can say, "Yes, I can believe it!"  How many things that are truly worth obtaining in this life come easily?  How many amazing, wonderful things fall into our lap?  I can think of very few.
Elder Orson F. Whitney penned these words:
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.  It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. ...It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."
The hard things we experience, sometimes simply mustering through, are all for our good.  And I would add, the good of others.  The Savior himself knew that the best way to help us all was to experience exactly what we would experience.
Isaiah 53:3-5 (With his stripes we are healed)
"It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior's promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. ...And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help.  He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He CHOSE TO LEARN BY HIS OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE." -President Henry B. Eyring

Alma 7:11-12 "That his bowels may be filled with mercy,...that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."
Christ chose to experience all of our pains and afflictions so that he could know us better.  Maybe it's only through experiencing the trials of mortality that WE get to better understand HIM?  Maybe by experiencing these things we in turn, become more like HIM.

Similarly, by experiencing trials ourselves, we can be as the Savior, if only but for a moment, when we empathize, befriend, and counsel those who are experiencing the same thing we are.  We can be His mouthpiece and offer peace and understanding to those we love because we truly understand what they are experiencing.
(My personal stories that accompany my miscarriage, as well as other hard things-being a parent, wife, sister, student, etc.)

So...life is hard, and that's good, right?  Right. That perspective is helpful, BUT we still need MORE than a good perspective to get us through our trials.  Can you tell me what the Savior has promised to do for us?  Let's read some scriptures:
Matthew 11:28-30 (He will give us rest, will lighten our load)
Philippians 4:13 (He strengthens us)
1 Nephi 17:3 (He will nourish, strengthen, provide means for us)
D&C 19:23 (He will give us PEACE)
1 Nephi 1:20 (Make us mighty "unto deliverance")
Matthew 8:16 (Healed all that were sick)-more on healing to come
What other things can we think of that Christ can help us with? (below are a few examples I thought of but there are many, many more)
-Gaining a knowledge, understanding or clarity with a principle/concept/situation
-Learning to have sympathy
-Helping us have patience
-Allows us to feel love, even when we don't feel it from anyone else, or feel as though we don't deserve it
-Sometimes, through the priesthood he will HEAL us physically, other times we need to be healed emotionally and spiritually
"As Nephi saw in vision, much of Christ's mortal ministry was devoted to blessing and healing the sick with all kinds of maladies--physical, emotional, and spiritual.'And I beheld multitudes of people who were sick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases...And they were healed by the power of the Lamb of God.'" (Richards, quoting Nephi)
Matthew 8:16 "When the even was come, they brought unto him many...and he...healed ALL that were sick." He healed ALL that came to Him.  None were turned away.
-Keep us from feeling alone
-Prompts others to help us
-"Perhaps His most significant work is in the ongoing labor with each of us individually to lift, to bless, to strengthen, to sustain, and to forgive us."-Kent F Richards
Because of the atonement, we are promised all these blessings from a brother that truly understands as no other person can.

Of all the things we are promised, what sticks out to you?  What do you want THE MOST, when you are going through a trial?  Might I venture to guess two?  How about 1, to be healed, and 2, peace.  Let's chat specifically about those.
Who can define 'peace'?
In the scriptures, peace can mean either [1] freedom from conflict and turmoil or [2] the inner calm and comfort born of the Spirit that God gives to his faithful Saints. (lds.org)
-Let's talk about the different kinds of peace.
Is it possible to have one kind of peace, but not another?

"We earnestly hope and pray for universal peace, but it is as individuals and families that we achieve the kind of peace that is the promised reward of righteousness. This peace is a promised gift of the Savior’s mission and atoning sacrifice.

This principle is succinctly captured in the Doctrine and Covenants: “But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.”¹⁴

President John Taylor taught that peace is not only desirable, but “it is the gift of God.”¹⁵

The peace to which I am referring is not just a temporary tranquility. It is an abiding deep happiness and spiritual contentment.¹⁶

President Heber J. Grant described the Savior’s peace this way: “His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness.”^17"

-If we have repented and are at peace with our choices, other forms of peace come way easier...regardless of our physical state/earthly struggles we face.

Healing...let's chat about healing.
What different kinds of healing will the Savior do on our behalf?  Is it always the kind of healing WE want/ask for? (NO) Is it always what we need? (ALWAYS)  The saying, "not as I wilt, but as thy wilt" is pretty poignant here.  Christ heals ALL.  He always has, he always will.  But in order to become the kind of people our Father in Heaven needs us to be, we simply have to go through hard things.  This means we have imperfect bodies, families, finances, etc. And when we ask to be healed, those things might not change.  BUT, if we ask for the Lord's help, WE WILL CHANGE.  Through the ATONEMENT of JESUS CHRIST, we can, should and will grow as the result of our trials. Those changes will bring us closer to our Father in Heaven and to the people we ache to be.

"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a 'healing' cures illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are 'healed' by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us"-Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Does anyone have a personal story they can/want to share in regard to these principals?

-Activities:

• -Divide the young women into groups. Have each group read one or more of the scriptures in this outline and summarize what they read. Invite the young women to write down how the things they learn from these scriptures can help them overcome their trials. Encourage them to share what they wrote, if they feel comfortable doing so. Consider sharing your own experiences.

-Invite the young women to list some of the tragedies that have happened in the world (for some examples of tragedies, see the first seven paragraphs of Elder Quentin L. Cook’s talk “Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness”). How would they help a friend who is experiencing personal hardships?

Ask the young women to share what they learned today. Do they understand how the Atonement can help them during their trials? What feelings or impressions do they have? Do they have any additional questions? Would it be worthwhile to spend more time on this doctrine?

My testimony:
I know life is hard.  I also know our Savior and our Father in Heaven love us.  And if that's the case (which it is!) then these are things we face MUST be for our good.  I know that if we simply ask, our Father and our Brother will always be at our side, ready to help us; to heal us and fill us with peace.

Jean A. Stevens, “Fear Not; I Am with Thee,”
Quentin L. Cook, “Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness,”Shayne M. Bowen, “Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also,” 
Kent F. Richards, "The Atonement Covers All Pain"

What is the Purpose of Life?

Deep question, right!?!  I'll write "what is the purpose of life" on the chalkboard but then ask the girls to answer it like someone who doesn't not have a testimony of the gospel...

(I'll bring a SUPER long piece of twine, tie a not on it and string it up all around the room.  That will lead us into a quick discussion (reminded from the lesson last week) about the Plan of Salvation, where we are in the plan and how short our mortal life is in the scheme of things.

At the request of the girls we'll be pulling out our scriptures a bit.  They'll read and discuss:

Alma 12:24, 34:30–32  (prepare to meet God, perform our labors)

Alma 42:4 (repent and serve God)
2 Ne 2:22-25 (Adam fell, that they might have joy)

2 Ne 2:14-16 (must be opposition in all things)

I'll pose the question again, "SO, what is the purpose of life?"  After they share their thoughts (-Gain a body-live by faith-empathy vs. sympathy-learn right from wrong: how to make good choices), I'll share these quotes:

"We came to earth for two purposes: one, to obtain physical bodies of flesh and bone in the likeness of our Heaven Father; and two, to be proved--to see if we 'will do all things whatever the Lord our God commands us." Marion G. Romney

"There are two purposes for life in mortality. The first is that we might gain experiences that we could not obtain in any other way. The second is to obtain tabernacles of flesh and bones. Both of these purposes are vital to the existence of man. We are now being tried and tested to see if we will do all the things the Lord has commanded us to do. These commandments are the principles and ordinances of the gospel, and they constitute the gospel of Jesus Christ. Every principle and ordinance has a bearing upon the whole purpose of our testing, which is to prepare us to return to our Heavenly Father and become more like Him." -Elder L. Tom Perry, The Plan of Salvation 

I learned another way to describe the purposes of life from a professor I TAed for at BYU.  He gave us extra credit for memorizing them and I am so grateful he did!  It was lessons like these that made college worth every second and every penny.

Dr. Hill's Sacred Purposes of Life:
-Gain a body and develop skills of mortality

-Develop and strengthen eternal relationships

-Become more like Christ (and our Heavenly Father)

*I would add to make covenants and receive ordinances

I think, if we're trying to sum things up and define the purpose of life in a few short sentences, Dr. Hill did a great job (we could certainly be a lot more detailed, but if we're getting down to brass tacks, I think he nailed it).  

Knowing these things, can you tell me what kinds of skills were supposed to learn?  What kind of relationships were suppose to have?  How we can become more like Christ?
-The Family: A Proclamation to the Word (how does this help you understand your purpose as a daughter of God)

-Beatitudes 3 Ne 12:3-12 (Do you know any personally or in the scriptures that have these traits?)

("Ask the young women to share what they learned today. Do they understand the purpose of life better? What feelings or impressions do they have? Do they have any additional questions? Would it be helpful to spend more time on this doctrine?")

Knowing these things, let's talk about what really matters?  Does it matter how many friends you have (in real life or on facebook)?  Does it matter how popular you are with the boys?  How much do the clothes you wear and the car you drive affect your eternity? Or does it matter what kind of sister/daughter/friend you are?  How you develop your talents and uplift others? etc.

Understanding the purpose to our lives helps us with something I find extraordinarily important...and ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE! If we can keep and eternal perspective as we make both the seeming insignificant, daily choices you make and the "big" ones too.  What is important to you will always be different than what is important to people who simply don't understand their purpose on Earth.

When I was a fourth year at girls camp my leader showed this to me:
S.M.I.L.E. Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal 2 Ne 9:39
It is my goal that we will always remember to [be] SMILE. 

Why is Jesus Christ Important in my Life?

What think ye of Christ? ~Matthew 22:42 (This should be on the chalkboard, along with pictures or Christ)



What do we know about Christ?  What do YOU know about Christ?  Who is He?  How does he affect our daily lives?

While I was cleaning the kitchen and preparing this lesson simultaneously, I picked this month's Ensign up off the counter and went to put it away.  But then, I had this thought, "I wonder how much this particular Ensign mentions Christ?  Does it help us learn the answers to these questions (I mentioned above)?"  Needless to say I didn't put the magazine away.  Instead, I browsed through it, scanned a bit, and quickly came up with 25 different paragraphs mentioning things about who He is, what He does, and why He does it.  This was the result of a seriously brief read through.  Imagine how much more there is that I missed!?!  Something tells me EVERY issue is like this one too.  Maybe I should check last months...or you can! :)
I've marked all the parts of the February Ensign that I found regarding the Savior.  Let's read some of them and have you guys tell me what we learn from the brief, yet poignant sentences authored by both apostles and typical saints like you and me.

Here are some of the things I picked out from all of that (what I found in the Ensign):
-He teaches us to truly love and be loved
-He loves us perfectly
-He is THE perfect example for us to follow, shows us how to pattern our life 
-He "bids us enter", invites all to come unto Him
-He understands completely
-He gave us the Atonement; allows us to be truly clean/without sin as He is
-He will never leave us alone, he is constantly helping us
-He carries our "weight" with us
-He helps us and provides ways for us to keep the commandments
-He is our Savior and Redeemer
-He gives us power, strength, and comfort
-He is the great teacher
-We learn charity through Him
-He taught us that we can control our thoughts
-He restores our joy and helps our joy increase
-He taught us to be baptized
-He comforts and assures us
-He blesses our efforts
-He care about what we care about
-He overcame death
-He seeks after the lost lamb
-He blesses even ordinary people like us

If we look at "The Living Christ" we'll find more (and some of the same):
-His life is matchless
-His virtue is infinite
-None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth
-He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New.
-He was the creator of the earth
-He was baptized to fulfill all righteousness
-He went about doing good but was despised for it
-His gospel was a message of peace and goodwill
-He entreated all to follow his example
-He healed the sick, caused the blind to see and raised the dead
-He taught the truth of eternity, the reality of our premortal existence, the purpose of our life on earth, and he potential for the sons and daughters of God in the life to come.
-He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice.
-He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross.
-He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in
behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.
-His life neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded in Calvary
- He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only
Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world.
-He rose from the grave to “become the first fruits of them
that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20)
- As Risen Lord, He visited among those He had loved in life. He also ministered among His “other sheep” (John 10:16) in ancient America.
-In the modern world, He and His Father appeared to the boy Joseph Smith, ushering in the long-promised “dispensation of the fullness of times” (Ephesians 1:10).
-the Prophet Joseph wrote: “His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white
like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah
- he lives!
-he is the Only Begotten of the Father—
“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24).
-His priesthood and His Church have been restored upon the earth—
“built upon the foundation of . . . apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone” (Ephesians 2:20).
-He will someday return to earth. “And
the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall
see it together” (Isaiah 40:5).
-He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.
- Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father.
-He is the light of the world
-He is the life of the world
-He is the hope of the world
-His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come
From Elder Oak's talk entitles "Teachings of Jesus" we learn of Him as:
-the Only Begotten son (John 3:16-17)
-the Creator (John 1:2-3)
-Lord God of Israel (3 Nephi 11: 10,14)
-the Life of the World (John 10:10, 3 Nephi 11:11)
-the Light of the World (John 8:12, 14:16)
-the Great Exemplar (John 10:27)
and see that he:
-was always doing the will of the Father (Luke 2:49, John 6:38, 5:19)
-gave the priesthood power and authority to his apostle (Matthew 10:1, 16:19)
-gave us the Holy Ghost to help guide us (John 14:26, 16:13)
-also gave us the commandments to help guide us (3 Nephi 11:29-30)
-culminated his mortal ministry with His Resurrection and His Atonement for the sins of the world (John 1:29, Matthew 20:28, 26:28)
"And so we understand that the Atonement of Jesus Christ gives us the opportunity to overcome the spiritual death that results from sin and, through making and keeping sacred covenants, to have the blessings of eternal life (live with God again)." ~Oaks


Again, these are just from one month's Ensign a document from the church and a single talk from Elder Oaks.  Imagine how much more there is in the scriptures!  If you only read one book in the Book of Mormon, read third Nephi.  If you really want to narrow it down, start in chapter 11.  That much, I know we can all do.  I'm doing it now with me soon to be eight year old.  But you know what we should also do?  Read the entire New Testament.  What do you say?  Shall we commit to doing that this year?  I know it will be worth the effort... times 1000!

Okay, let's focus on a couple things.  First, let's talk about Elder Bednar's talk entitled "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease."  It's the one with the truck that gets stuck in the snow.  Remember that one?  Who can quickly recap that story?
(truck stuck, needed traction)

How cool is that phrase, "spiritual traction"!?!  For whatever reason, that resonates with me.  We KNOW life isn't a fairy tale.  It doesn't take long to figure that out.  I think it would even be accurate to say that we recognize that the trials the Lord allows us to endure make us better people...somehow.  But the second we start looking at it as "spiritual traction" it feels more like a intelligent, needed teaching tool and less like the school of hard knocks we all try to escape.

That being said, gaining spiritual traction is never easy.  It takes A LOT of work.  And faith.  Lots and lots of faith.  And hope.  Don't forget hope.  Many times we feel like the heavy weight lifter carrying impossible amount of weight all alone in hopes to win some contest on our own.  Guess what!?!  Weight lifting competitions are STUPID  (both metaphorically and realistically-or should I not say that. :/ )  That's not what the Lord wants for us.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of  me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: an ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

What do you know about yokes?  Do you know what they look like?  Do you know how and why they are used?  Tell me what you think the Savior is teaching us hear.
-"In essence, the Savior is beckoning us to rely upon and pull together with Him, even though our best efforts are not equal to and cannot be compared with His.  As we trust in and pull our load with Him during the journey of mortality, truly His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  We are not and never need to be alone. We can press forward in our daily lives with heavenly help.  Through the Saviors Atonement we can receive capacity and "strength beyond our] own"".  Bednar

Does this mean that the Lord removes our burdens completely?
Absolutely not.

Mosiah 24: 13-15

13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand aswitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord didstrengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

The challenges and difficulties were not immediately removed from the people. But Alma and his followers were strengthened, and their increased capacity made the burdens lighter. These good people were empowered through the Atonement to act as agents (see D&C 58:26–29) and impact their circumstances. And “in the strength of the Lord” (Words of Mormon 1:14; Mosiah 9:17; 10:10; Alma 20:4), Alma and his people were directed to safety in the land of Zarahemla. Bednar

The Savior succors his people.  Do you know what succor means?  I kind of did, but I couldn't confidently tell you a definitely.  So I Googled it. This is what I found:
1. Assistance and support in times of hardship and distress
2 Give assistance or aid too. 

“And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11–12).

Everything is personal with Christ.  He cares about what we care about.  He KNOWS what we are going through and what we need.  He's been there himself!  Through His infinite atonement He has experienced everything He needed to in order to truly succor his people.

"Thus, the Savior has suffered not just for our sins and iniquities—but also for our physical pains and anguish, our weaknesses and shortcomings, our fears and frustrations, our disappointments and discouragement, our regrets and remorse, our despair and desperation, the injustices and inequities we experience, and the emotional distresses that beset us."  Bednar

There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice (seeAlma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power. Indeed, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. ~ Bednar

I invite you to study, pray, ponder, and strive to learn more about the Savior’s Atonement as you assess your individual load. Many things about the Atonement we simply cannot comprehend with our mortal minds. But many aspects of the Atonement we can and need to understand.~Bednar


Not only does the Atonement of Jesus Christ overcome the effects of the Fall of Adam and make possible the remission of our individual sins and transgressions, but His Atonement also enables us to do good and become better in ways that stretch far beyond our mortal capacities. Most of us know that when we do things wrong and need help to overcome the effects of sin in our lives, the Savior has made it possible for us to become clean through His redeeming power. But do we also understand that the Atonement is for faithful men and women who are obedient, worthy, and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully? I wonder if we fail to fully acknowledge this strengthening aspect of the Atonement in our lives and mistakenly believe we must carry our load all alone—through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline and with our obviously limited capacities.
-Bednar

To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”-Holland

"Who am I, and Who can I become?"

(On the board, I'll write "origin", "purpose" and "destiny"

Every week we stand and say our theme:

Young Women Theme 

WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

And if you look at the first page of your Personal Progress book, you'll find these words: "You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose."

Think about these words.  Pick them apart.  What are your thoughts?  When you read that you are DAUGHTERS OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER and that he loves you, what does that mean to you? Can you glean a little from these words what our purpose is?  How about our destiny?  What does Divine Nature mean? How do you feel about our Father in Heaven after reading these statements?

Our origin (as daughters of a king):
Sisters, those words are true (from your personal progress book)! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”-Uchtdorf

"You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God.  You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun.  Your "once upon a time" is now"-Uchtdorf
Let's read:
Genesis 1:26–27  26 ¶And God said, Let us make man in our image, after ourlikeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Moses 1:39  For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass theimmortality and eternal life of man.

From those two scriptures, what do we learn?  
-We are not only daughters or God, but we are created in his image!  We are not creatures that randomly morphed to look how we do.  We LOOK like our father.  Just like my girls look like their dad, we look like our Father in Heaven.
-God's entire purpose; His goal and His desire, is to have His children return to Him!  He gave us our bodies (which we, as women, get to help with-We GET to HELP our Father in Heaven!  The thing that God wants MOST is something we not only have the privilege of being a part, but we're a critical part of the equation.  Think about that for a while.), our agency, the Plan of Salvation, etc. all to help US come home; to give us our "happily ever after"!  He gave us our "once upon a time" and so badly wants us to choose our "happily ever after"!  Unlike Cinderella, there is not one lone author creating the plot twist and writing the ending.  There's God, and there's us.  Together, we decide if it's a "happily ever after" or not.

(We are DAUGHTERS of GOD)
"It is good to remember that you are always a child of God. This knowledge will carry you through the most difficult times in your life and will inspire you to accomplish remarkable things. However, it is also important to remember that being a daughter of eternal parents is not a distinction you earned or you will ever lose. You will always and forever remain a daughter of God." Uchtdorf (Living the Gospel Joyful")

"You are loved.  You are dear to your heavenly parents.  The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you.  Yes, God loves you this very day and always.

He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.

And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own.

He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always!"~Uchtdorf

Cinderella
-Noble birth
Did that mean that she automatically got to be a princess/queen? (No, it simply made her eligible)
Did her nobility prevent her from having to endure hardship? (Not at all...Dad died, horrible step-mother and sisters, worked to the bone etc.)
Now, since this is a fairy tale, our comparison is imperfect.  Like Cinderella, we are of a noble birthright.  We are daughters of a king; children of our Heavenly Father.  We are princesses and are destined to become Queens. We are also not simply thrust upon a throne.
We must earn it.  UNLIKE Cinderella, we do not have a fairy godmother.  WE DO, however, have a Savior.  We the ability to repent.  And instead of magic, we have His grace.  If we act in accordance to the will of our Father, we WILL have a "happily ever after," eternally living in His presence.  We WILL be given the opportunity (whether in this life or the next) to have our own "Prince Charming" as well as an eternal family.

As daughters of God, we have inherent gifts specifically bestowed upon us from our father.  What might those gifts be?
Gifts given to women (These are but a few and I pulled these from Elder Christofferson's talk):
-Virtue
-Able to instill faith, courage, empathy and refinement in relationships and in cultures
-Moral authority
-A mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship
-Sacred role in the creation of life
-An intention to do good and be good

Our purpose
-"God sent you here to prepare for a future greater than anything you can imagine." ~Uchtdorf
-"...you must humble yourself, exercise faith, take upon you the name of Christ, seek Him in word and deed, and resolutely "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places.""-Uchtdorf
-Help our Heavenly Father with His work and His glory by giving his children bodies
-Raise spirits in righteousness
-Set an example
-Instill qualities of faith, courage, empathy etc. in relationships and cultures
-To walk the path of discipleship for ourselves, and our families, so we can choose our "happily ever after" with our Father in Heaven.

What things should we do to stay on the path to our "happily ever after"?

Are there warnings/advice given by the apostles/prophets specifically for US?
Uchtdorf, Your Happily Ever After
-Stay true to what you know is right, stand for truth and righteousness
-Trust your Father in Heaven.  Trust him enough to follow His plan
-Attend church meetings, read the scriptures regularly, pray to our Heavenly Father daily
-Love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might, and mind.
-Fill your souls with virtue
-Love goodness (do what is right for the love of doing what is right)
-Always strive to bring out the best in yourself and others.
-Learn to accept and act upon the YW values
-Live the standards in "For the Strength of Youth."
-Stand in holy places
-Be strong and of good courage
Living the Gospel Joyful
-Obedience to God's commandments, walk the path of discipleship
-Live the gospel joyfully, with all our heart, might, mind, and soul.
-Walk the path of discipleship
"Discipleship lifts our spirits and lightens our hearts. It inspires us with faith, hope, and charity. It fills our spirits with light in times of darkness, and serenity during times of sorrow."-Uchtdorf
The Moral Force of Women
-The devaluation of marriage and motherhood and homemaking "there is not a higher good than motherhood and fatherhood in marriage...no superior career, and no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards of family.  Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral influence is no more optimally employed that here." -Elder Christofferson
-Attitudes toward human sexuality
-Abortion for persona or social conveniences strikes at the heart of a woman's most sacred powers and destroys her moral authority
-Sexual immorality, revealing dress that debases women and reinforces the lie that a woman's sexuality is what defines her worth
-In the name of equality, society is trying to erase all the differences between the masculine and the feminine...encouraging women to adopt more masculine traits--be more aggressive, touch and confrontational

Former Young Women general president Margaret D. Nadauld taught: “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”¹⁰ 

Why do we, as do all the fairy tale princesses, have to experience opposition and hardship?

"...Sandwiched between their “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity. Why must all experience sadness and tragedy? Why could we not simply live in bliss and peace, each day filled with wonder, joy, and love?

The scriptures tell us there must be opposition in all things, for without it we could not discern the sweet from the bitter. ² Would the marathon runner feel the triumph of finishing the race had she not felt the pain of the hours of pushing against her limits? Would the pianist feel the joy of mastering an intricate sonata without the painstaking hours of practice?

In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy."~Uchtdorf

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop." -Uchtdorf

Is it enough simply to endure? Nope.  How we react to both adversity and temptation is a critical factor in our destiny

I know that our Heavenly Father has absolutely given us the tools we need not only to endure, but to endure well.  I know that as we we truly understand who we are, and have the desire for our "once upon a time" to end with an eternal "happily ever after", we CAN absolutely get there. We can claim our noble birth right to not only be princesses but QUEENS!  We can become the people we were sent here to become.

The Moral Force of Women, Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Living the Gospel Joyful, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Your Happily Ever After, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf