While these are just notes and aren't nearly what I hope the lesson will be this afternoon (I rely heavily on conversation and the knowledge of others. I really know very little.) I figured I'd add them on this blog for good measure. Maybe one day my kids will want to read something from their mother. We all know how horrible I've become on my personal blog (what personal blog!?!)!
Active Shooter Training Parenting
As I learn more about myself I’ve discovered that I learn
best, and teach best, when my mind if full of one liners. I don’t have the best memory, so one line is
about all get. I’m going to share a few
of mine with you today. First, we’ll
revisit the classics from my Sacrament Talk:
T.T.T.=Things Take
Time
When things don’t go
your way, don’t get frustrated, make the best of it!
Life is hard but
(with the help of the Lord) we can do hard things!
Okay, so with these things in mind we’re going to talk about
raising children. Something that
ironically, I know very little about when compared to the wisdom in this
room. This is why I’ll forego the
title of teacher and instead delegate myself as the RS discussion leader
today. I expect you all to teach ME. I want to know what you DO, what you DID and
what you WISH you had done as a parent.
“The first duty
pertaining to the training of the children of the Church belongs in the home.”
When I was a kid my parents, unbeknownst to me, had a
procedure they went through every Sunday.
They called it “Damage Control”.
Who can guess what this was all about?
It was basically asking each of us kids what we learned. They’d get our abbreviated lesson, see what our
take home message was and make sure that it was in alignment with their
understanding of the gospel. They never
wanted to assume that whoever taught us had covered everything. And they wanted to make sure nothing got lost
in translation.
The lesson I learned
from “Damage Control” is that while we are so lucky to have the ward as backup,
the primary responsibility of teaching children doesn’t belong to the church,
the schools, or the community. It
belongs to parents, period.
Let’s briefly talk about the roles of a mother and a father:
Parents have a sacred duty to
rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical
and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe
the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.
Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for
the discharge of these obligations.
(Family Proclamation)
On the board we'll come up with a list for both mothers and fathers.
Father:
“By divine design, fathers
are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are
responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their
families.” (FP)
(Some examples might be:)
-Take care of physical needs so spiritual needs can be met
-Counsel and instruct
-Leave lasting impressions
-Always be there to listen and instill love and respect
Mother:
"Mothers are primarily
responsible for the nurture of their children." (FP)
(Some examples might be:)
(Some examples might be:)
-Teach children to be true and faithful
-Teach children to pray
-Give children good things to read/read to them
-Make sure they are cared for in every way
-Make certain they know they are loved and of immeasurable value to our Father in Heaven
Family Unity
“The
importance of family unity—love and consideration for one another in the
family—cannot be overemphasized. Spiritual solidarity in family relationships
is the sure foundation upon which the Church and society itself will flourish.
This fact is well known and appreciated by the
adversary, and as never before, he is using every clever device, influence, and
power within his control to undermine and destroy this eternal institution.
Only the gospel of Jesus Christ applied in family relationships will thwart
this devilish destructiveness.6”
Active Shooter Training:
As a direct response to the Columbine shooting (12 students,
1 teacher died. Police procedure was to surround the building and negotiate
because they believed time was on their side-they had never dealt with someone who simply wanted to kill as many people as they could.
They had cops begging to go in when the shooting was happening but
’protocol’ kept them out) there was a nation-wide change to protocol and
training. In the years since, the
training going like this:
-First responders could be anyone, from any department-whoever
is closest, could be just passing by.
-Depending on the situation, they wait for a second guy, or
go in alone, but they will not be responding with their normal team.
-They realize that they are putting themselves in harm’s way
but realize that’s their job and would rather take a hit than see a civilian
killed. Instead of waiting, they run
towards the shots
-They all train to be prepared in groups of 2-5 people. They
learn to cover each other and kind of leap frog around, one man moving while
the other covers them. They move as fast
as possible, working together.
-Even one cop using these techniques is far safer than a cop
who doesn’t. BUT using these techniques
in a group exponentially increases their success and safety
-In training they spend all day running scenarios and with
this new training they always win. Even
when they went against two trained SWAT guys with great plans of their own and
better weapons (the SWAT guys' goal was to kill as many as they could and get away),
they came out victorious. They took a
few hits, but nobody died…except the “bad guys”.
So after telling this story, who can help me draw some
parallels?
Key Parallels
Unity: The second
you lose unity, things fall apart and people die. This is no different than with our spiritual
health in our families, wards, and communities.
First Responders:
Sometimes, the first responders to our own emergencies aren’t part of the
normal team we’re used to training with. (Margaret and my miscarriage) Sometimes, the people who rise to the occasion and watch our back in crisis are older, younger, near, far, etc.
BASIC training:
the skills we learn in our own active shooter training (in our homes, with our
families) should be simple. If we learn
them and practice them, these skills will give our families the absolute best
chance at a high success rate. Using
these basic skills, and unity, you can overwhelm the enemy and stand victorious at the last
day. It will also enable us to be first
responders to those around us.
Proactive: Like
the tragedy at Columbine, we might experience tragedy in our lives if we are
not proactive. We don’t want to be
waiting outside the building listening to gunfire. We want to be prepared and willing to do what
it takes to keep ourselves and those around us safe from the fiery darts of the
adversary.
No Safety Zone: Just as the police have realized that they cannot
keep themselves out of harm’s way and still have positive outcomes, we parents
must do the same. None of us will make it out of this life without walking into
a few of Satan’s ambushes. Life has its
challenges. It’s our job to be prepared.
Success Rate: Since this training has begun it has been PROVEN successful. Countless lives have been saved. Similarly, training our families basic principles is a proven equation for success.
Success Rate: Since this training has begun it has been PROVEN successful. Countless lives have been saved. Similarly, training our families basic principles is a proven equation for success.
That being said, let’s
work together to create our own active shooter training! I want to hear what you’ve done, what you’re
doing, and what you wish you’d done in your families to prepare them for their
spiritual ambushes.
-"K.I.S.S. Keep it Simple, Stupid"
"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
1.
Example: The first tool in this tool box is unspoken, but among the most affective. Our trainees need to know that their trainers
are not only motivational speakers. They
need to know that they have been through the training and are actually using it
effectively every day. They need to see
an example of what they are expected to do.
Otherwise, the training meeting isn’t even worth attending.
2. Church:
We need to teach our children the benefit of attending their church meetings as
well as the importance of learning from one another.
3.
Need for ongoing nurturing of testimonies
4. Teach them to Pray: Pray with them, let
them see you pray
5. Teach them
to read good things: Scriptures, among lots of other things. Keep scriptures out in the open where they
are easily accessible and serve as a good reminder.
6. FHE: build
a solid foundation for citizenship and active church participation. Express love,
bear testimony, learn gospel principles, have fun and experience wholesome
recreation together, creative a sense of unity and solidarity.
7. Teach virtue,
chastity and morality: “We have
confidence in the young and rising generation in the Church and plead with them
not to follow the fashions and customs of the world, not to partake of a spirit
of rebellion, not to forsake the paths of truth and virtue. We believe in their
fundamental goodness and expect them to become pillars of righteousness and to
carry on the work of the Church with increasing faith and effectiveness.31”(Manual)
8.
Set clear expectations: Our young people are
among the most blessed and favored of our Father’s children. They are the
nobility of heaven, a choice and chosen generation who have a divine destiny.
Their spirits have been reserved to come forth in this day when the gospel is
on earth, and when the Lord needs valiant servants to carry on his great
latter-day work.32We must prepare
[children] to be living witnesses of the truth and divinity of this great
latter-day work, and particularly in the case of our sons, see that they are
worthy and qualified to go on missions to preach the gospel to our Father’s
other children.33 (Manual)
9.
Help children prepare to have eternal
families of their own: Are you training [your children] so that when they are married
they will want to go to the house of the Lord? Are you teaching them so that
they will want to receive the great endowment which the Lord has in store for
them? Have you impressed upon them the fact that they can be sealed as husbands
and wives and have bestowed upon them every gift and every blessing that
pertains to the celestial kingdom?34We must … so guide and
lead [children] that they will choose proper companions and marry in the house
of the Lord and thus become inheritors of all the great blessings of which we
have been talking. (Manua)
10. Other virtues and qualities we want them to
have: integrity, hard work, etc.
-The things Joseph Fielding Smith talked about were seemingly simple
-Telling stories of
pioneers
-Teaching scripture
stories
-Teaching them to pray
My Own Personal Thoughts:
-Nothing else matters
if our children don’t feel loved. “People
may forget what you said or what you did but not how you made them feel”
“Never let a problem to be solved, become more important than a person to be loved.” (President Monson)
-We need to teach our
children to be optimistic (yet cautious), positive people with gratitude in
their hearts. “It is what it is but it
will become what you make of it” "Blessings brighten when you count them"
-We need to relearn a
skill from our childhood…how to be silly!
We need to let our kids be silly and make we share in humor as a family.
“Pardon the mess my children are making
memories”
-Always be ready and
willing to take the time to answer “why?”
Our children will have to be
taught to discern between good and evil, otherwise in many respects they will
not be able to understand why they
are not permitted to indulge in practices that are common with their neighbors.
Unless they are instructed in the doctrines of the Church, they will not,
perhaps, understand why there is any harm in the Sunday concert, a Sunday
theatre, picture show, ball game, or something of that kind, when their
playmates, without restraint and with encouragement, indulge in these things
forbidden of the Lord on his holy day. The parents are responsible for the
proper teaching of their children, [and] the Lord will condemn the parents if
their children grow up outside of the influence of the principles of the gospel
of our Lord Jesus Christ.8 (manual)
-
Our children must also be taught to have
faith. Sometimes we don’t know WHY. Sometimes, that just doesn’t matter. We need to have faith that it’ll all work out
for our good.
“Let your faith be
bigger than your fears”
Parenthood is scary. It's a big job. But our Heavenly Father has loaned us these spirits because he knows we're up to the task. I know that if we keep our focus on our families, build up our own testimonies as well as those of our children, and live the gospel the best we can, we will find success. Remember, with the help of the Lord, we can do hard things!
I'm very happy that I got to read your lesson. I hope there is more to come in the near future! ;) I think ill go back and read some of your older lessons too while I'm at it :).
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