Saturday, December 13, 2014

How Does Heavenly Father Want Me to Use Spiritual Gifts?

As a kid I often heard the phrase "spiritual gifts" and automatically started tuning out.  What in the heck are spiritual gifts?  If they are gifts, who gives them?  And who receives them?  Does the recipient get more than one?  Are these gift special or are they a dime a dozen?  So many questions!!! Now that I'm...less of a child...it's time I nailed this concept down!  So here we go...

What are spiritual gifts? What is their purpose  

Spiritual gifts are blessings or abilities that are given by
the power of the Holy Ghost. God gives at least one of these
gifts to every faithful member of the Church. As you receive
these gifts, they will strengthen and bless you individually
and help you serve others. (See D&C 46:8–12.)

*** One of the insights we learn here is that if you are not worthy of the Holy Ghost, you will not receive spiritual gifts-he can not give them to you if you do not recognize his promptings.

"The scriptures and modern-day prophets teach that there are many spiritual gifts (see Moro. 10:8D&C 46:13–26). Their purpose, among other things, is to give us strength, lead us to do good, help us resist temptation, encourage and edify us, increase our wisdom, help us judge righteously, and help us qualify for eternal life." Arnold


There are many scriptures, articles and talks that offer specific examples of spiritual gifts but before we look at them let's see how many you guys can come up with...


(Write on chalk board-when they are done I'll list more)

Are any of these gifts that you've never thought about before? Are there any you'd like to understand better? (give girls assignments from below and then we'll discuss)

(Gifts of the Spirit-in depth look)

Knowledge “that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and
that he was crucified for the sins of the world” (D&C
46:13).

The Gift of Knowing That Jesus Christ Is the Son of God (D&C 46:13)

This has been the gift of prophets and apostles who have been called as special witnesses of Jesus Christ. However, others are also given this gift. Every person can have a testimony through the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. President David O. McKay taught: “It is given unto some, says the Lord in the Doctrine and Covenants, to know by the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Son of God and that He was crucified for the sins of the world [seeD&C 46:13]. It is to these I refer who stand firm upon the rock of revelation in the testimony that they bear to the world” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay [2003], 166).

• The capacity to believe the words of those who testify
of Jesus Christ.


The Gift of Believing the Testimony of Others (D&C 46:14)

By the power of the Holy Ghost we may know the truth of all things. If we want to know whether someone else is speaking the truth, we must ask God in faith. If the thing we are praying about is true, the Lord will speak peace to our minds (see D&C 6:22–23). In this way we can know when someone else, even the prophet, has received revelation. Nephi asked the Lord to let him see, feel, and know that his father’s dream was true (see1 Nephi 10:17–19).
Knowledge of “the differences of administration”
(D&C 46:15; see also 1 Corinthians 12:5). This gift is
used in administering and leading the Church.
Knowledge of “the diversities of operations,” which
helps us discern whether a teaching or influence
comes from God or from some other source (D&C
46:16; see also 1 Corinthians 12:6–7).
The gift of “the word of wisdom” (1 Corinthians 12:8;
D&C 46:17). This does not refer to the law we know as
Spiritual Gifts the Word of Wisdom. Rather, it is the gift of wisdom—
the ability to use knowledge in righteous ways.

The Gift of Wisdom (D&C 46:17)

Some of us have been blessed with the ability to understand people and the principles of the gospel as they apply in our lives. We are told:
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
“For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord” (James 1:5–7).
The Lord said, “Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold, the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you” (D&C 6:7).

The gift of “the word of knowledge” (1 Corinthians
12:8; D&C 46:18).

The Gift of Knowledge (D&C 46:18)

Everyone who becomes like Heavenly Father eventually knows all things. The knowledge of God and His laws is revealed by the Holy Ghost (seeD&C 121:26). We cannot be saved if we are ignorant of these laws (seeD&C 131:6).
The Lord revealed, “If a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come” (D&C 130:19). The Lord has commanded us to learn as much as we can about His work. He wants us to learn about the heavens, the earth, things that have happened or will happen, things at home and in foreign lands (see D&C 88:78–79). However, there are those who try to gain knowledge by their own study alone. They do not ask for the help of the Holy Ghost. They are those who are always learning but never arrive at the truth (see 2 Timothy 3:7). When we receive knowledge by revelation from the Holy Ghost, His Spirit speaks to our minds and our hearts (see D&C 6:15, 22–248:29:7–9).
The ability to teach by the power of the Holy Ghost
(see Moroni 10:9–10; see also D&C 46:18).

The Gift of Teaching Wisdom and Knowledge (Moroni 10:9–10)

Some people are given a special ability to explain and testify of the truths of the gospel. This gift can be used when we teach a class. It can be used by parents to teach their children. This gift also helps us instruct others so they can understand the gospel.


• The gift of faith (see 1 Corinthians 12:9; Moroni 10:11).

The Gift of Faith (Moroni 10:11)

The brother of Jared had great faith. Because of his faith, he received other gifts. His faith was so great that the Savior appeared to him (seeEther 3:9–15). Without faith, no other gift can be given. Moroni promises, “Whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him” (Mormon 9:21). We should seek to increase our faith, find out our gifts, and use them.
• The gift “to have faith to be healed” (D&C 46:19).
• The gift “to have faith to heal” (D&C 46:20; see also
1 Corinthians 12:9; Moroni 10:11).

The Gift of Healing (D&C 46:19–20)

Some have the faith to heal, and others have the faith to be healed. We can all exercise the faith to be healed when we are ill (see D&C 42:48). Many who hold the priesthood have the gift of healing the sick. Others may be given a knowledge of how to cure illness.
“The working of miracles” (1 Corinthians 12:10; D&C
46:21; see also Moroni 10:12).

The Gift of Working Miracles (D&C 46:21)

The Lord has blessed His people many times in miraculous ways. When the Utah pioneers planted their first crops, a plague of locusts nearly destroyed them. The pioneers prayed that the Lord would save their crops, and He sent seagulls to devour the locusts. When we need help and ask in faith, if it is for our good the Lord will work miracles for us (seeMatthew 17:20D&C 24:13–14).
• The gift of prophecy (see 1 Corinthians 12:10; Moroni
10:13; D&C 46:22). John the Beloved taught that
“the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy”
(Revelation 19:10).

The Gift of Prophecy (D&C 46:22)

Those who receive true revelations about the past, present, or future have the gift of prophecy. Prophets have this gift, but we too can have it to help us govern our own lives (see 1 Corinthians 14:39). We may receive revelations from God for ourselves and our own callings, but never for the Church or its leaders. It is contrary to the order of heaven for a person to receive revelation for someone over whom he or she does not preside. If we truly have the gift of prophecy, we will not receive any revelation that does not agree with what the Lord has said in the scriptures.

• “The beholding of angels and ministering spirits
(Moroni 10:14).

• “Discerning of spirits” (1 Corinthians 12:10; D&C 46:23).

• The gift to speak in different languages, or tongues
(see 1 Corinthians 12:10; Moroni 10:15; D&C 46:24).

The Gift of Tongues (D&C 46:24)

Sometimes it is necessary to communicate the gospel in a language that is unfamiliar to us. When this happens, the Lord can bless us with the ability to speak that language. Many missionaries have received the gift of tongues (see the picture in this chapter). For example, Elder Alonzo A. Hinckley was a missionary in Holland who understood and spoke very little Dutch even though he had prayed and studied hard. When he returned to a home he had visited before, a lady opened the door and spoke to him very angrily in Dutch. To his amazement he could understand every word. He felt a strong desire to bear his testimony to her in Dutch. He began to speak, and the words came out very clearly in Dutch. But when he returned to show his mission president that he could speak Dutch, the ability had left him. Many faithful members have been blessed with the gift of tongues. (See Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions, comp. Joseph Fielding Smith Jr., 5 vols. [1957–66], 2:32–33.)


• The gift of “the interpretation of tongues” (1 Corinthians
12:10; D&C 46:25; see also Moroni 10:16).

The Gift of Interpretation of Tongues (D&C 46:25)

This gift is sometimes given to us when we do not understand a language and we need to receive an important message from God. For example, President David O. McKay had a great desire to speak to the Saints in New Zealand without an interpreter. He told them that he hoped that the Lord would bless them that they could understand him. He spoke in English. His message lasted about 40 minutes. As he spoke, he could tell by the expression on many of their faces and the tears in their eyes that they were receiving his message. (See Answers to Gospel Questions, 2:30–31.)

The Gift of Translation (D&C 5:4)

If we have been called by the leaders of the Church to translate the word of the Lord, we can receive a gift to translate beyond our natural ability. As with all gifts, we must live righteously, study hard, and pray to receive it. When we do these things, the Lord causes us to feel a burning inside concerning the correctness of the translation (see D&C 9:8–9). Joseph Smith had the gift of translation when he translated the Book of Mormon. This gift came to him only when he was in tune with the Spirit.

"In his message Elder Ashton detailed and described a number of less conspicuous spiritual gifts—attributes and abilities that many of us might not have considered being spiritual gifts..." (below are the follow gifts mentioned by Elder Ashton)

The gift of asking

The gift of listeningThe gift of hearing and using the still, small voice

"Small voices are heard only by those who are willing to listen. Soft and small voice communications with our associates make priceless friendships possible. I am appreciative of people who find no need to raise their voices as they try to impress or convince. It seems most people who argue and shout have ceased listening to what the small voice could powerfully contribute."


The gift of being able to weep

The gift of avoiding contention 

The gift of being agreeable

The gift of avoiding vain repetition

The gift of seeking that which is righteous

The gift of looking to God for guidance

"What a spiritual comfort and blessing it is to know that, if we look to our Savior Jesus Christ and endure to the end, eternal life and exaltation can be ours. Our capacity to see and comprehend is increased only in proportion to our willingness to look. God becomes more approachable as we look to him. Looking to God teaches us to serve and live without compulsion. Being a leader in the Church should never diminish our “looking to God” time."

The gift of being a disciple

The gift to calm

"The gospel is one of harmony, unity, and agreement. It must be presented in love, and with glad tidings, by those who are calm.

We should learn to talk together, listen together, pray together, decide together, and avoid all forms of possible contention. We must learn to curb anger. Satan knows that when contention begins, orderly progress is thwarted.
There has never been a time when it is more important for us as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to take a stand, remain firm in our convictions, and conduct ourselves with calm assurance under all circumstances. We must not be manipulated or enraged by those who subtly foster contention over issues of the day."
The gift of caring for others

"How grateful we should be for families, friends, and organizations who care! They make life easier and more meaningful. They, too, reap rewards in their Christlike caring when they serve for the right reasons. Leaders on every level should be primarily interested in rendering compassionate caring for others.

“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17)...
Our Savior cares for all of his sheep. What a tribute it is to be recognized as one who cares."
The gift of being able to ponder

"By pondering, we give the Spirit an opportunity to impress and direct. Pondering is a powerful link between the heart and the mind. As we read the scriptures, our hearts and minds are touched. If we use the gift to ponder, we can take these eternal truths and realize how we can incorporate them into our daily actions...

Pondering is a progressive mental pursuit. It is a great gift to those who have learned to use it. We find understanding, insight, and practical application if we will use the gift of pondering."

 The gift of bearing mighty testimony

This makes me think of Elder Holland.  Or Oaks.  Their conference talks rattle the Earth itself...it so it seems on the ground I'm standing.


The gift of receiving the Holy Ghost(see “There Are Many Gifts,” Ensign, Nov. 1987, 20).

Here are some that I think might also be gifts of the spirit:
The gift of charity (seeing other people as God sees them)
The gift of common sense
The gift of logic/reason
The gift of knowing we have a Father in Heaven (Dad)
The gift of beautification (making everything around you beautiful)
The gift of optimism

Think about the young women in this room.  Do any of them have these gifts? Do YOU have any of these gifts?  Have you been able to recognize experiences that are the result of a spiritual gift?


Possible Stories: Mac and his friends (homecoming-winner and date-peacemaker, friend), My testimony, Grandma always listening...lastly...Dad pulling over car, .44 by driver's leg

The story of my dad brings me to the spiritual gift I'd like to focus on; the gift of being quick to observe... 

The Spiritual Gift of Being Quick to Observe

"...And Mormon, even in his youth, is described as being “quick to observe.” As you study and learn and grow, I hope you also are learning about and becoming quick to observe. Your future success and happiness will in large measure be determined by this spiritual capacity.
Please consider the significance of this important spiritual gift. As used in the scriptures, the word observe has two primary uses. One use denotes “to look” or “to see” or “to notice”—as we learn in Isaiah 42:20: “Seeing many things, but thou observest not; opening the ears, but he heareth not” (emphasis added).
The second use of the word observe suggests “to obey” or “to keep”—as is evident in the Doctrine and Covenants: “But blessed are they who have kept the covenant and observed the commandment, for they shall obtain mercy” (D&C 54:6; emphasis added).
Thus when we are quick to observe, we promptly look or notice and obey. Both of these fundamental elements—looking and obeying—are essential to being quick to observe. And the prophet Mormon is an impressive example of this gift in action...
...Simply stated, being quick to observe is an antecedent to and is linked with the spiritual gift of discernment. And for you and for me, discernment is a light of protection and direction in a world that grows increasingly dark.
Much like faith precedes the miracle, much like baptism by water comes before the baptism by fire, much like gospel milk should be digested before gospel meat, much like clean hands can lead to a pure heart, and much like the ordinances of the Aaronic Priesthood are necessary before a person can receive the higher ordinances of the Melchizedek Priesthood, so being quick to observe is a prerequisite to and a preparation for the gift of discernment. We can hope to obtain that supernal gift of discernment and its light of protection and direction only if we are quick to observe—if we both look and obey." (Bednar)
President George Q. Cannon (1827–1901), who served as a counselor to four Presidents of the Church, taught powerfully about the gift of discernment:
“One of the gifts of the Gospel which the Lord has promised to those who enter into covenant with Him is the gift of discerning of spirits—a gift which is not much thought of by many and probably seldom prayed for; yet it is a gift that is of exceeding value and one that should be enjoyed by every Latter-day Saint. …
“Now, the gift of discerning of spirits not only gives men and women who have it the power to discern the spirit with which others may be possessed or influenced, but it gives them the power to discern the spirit which influences themselves. They are able to detect a false spirit and also to know when the Spirit of God reigns within them. In private life this gift is of great importance to the Latter-day Saints. Possessing and exercising this gift they will not allow any evil influence to enter into their hearts or to prompt them in their thoughts, their words or their acts. They will repel it; and if perchance such a spirit should get possession of them, as soon as they witness its effects they will expel it or, in other words, refuse to be led or prompted by it.” 1"(Bednar}

I see so many of these gifts, like the gift of being quick to observe, and I WANT them.  When I learn about all these cool tools the Lord has given us I just want to run to Home Depot and max out my credit card!  But wait...we can't exactly BUY these gifts.  We can't buy them for ourselves OR for others.  We know God has given us each at least one gift, but what if we want more?  What can we do?  Are spiritual gifts given to you at birth and that's is?  Or can we "earn" them?

How Can We Obtain Spiritual Gifts?

We are taught that in order to receive any spiritual gift, we must be worthy of it. The Lord has said that spiritual gifts “are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me” (D&C 46:9).
When we seek to obtain a spiritual gift, we can study the examples and teachings of the Savior that pertain to that particular gift and then try to incorporate those teachings into our life. For example, let’s suppose we are seeking the gift of charity. We could study Moroni 7:45 [Moro. 7:45], where we would find that there are 13 separate qualities we will need to seek as part of the process of obtaining charity. Kindness is one of the first that is mentioned.
What can we learn from the Savior’s teachings about kindness? In Matthew 25 [Matt. 25] He states:
“For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
“Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. …
“… Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matt. 25:35–36, 40).
As we continually strive to be kind, kindness will begin to become a part of our lives, and the Lord can then choose to grant that which we are worthy of and prepared to receive.
To receive a gift we must “practice virtue and holiness before” the Lord continually (D&C 38:24), and we “must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth” (D&C 50:40). We must “ask of God, who giveth liberally; … in all holiness of heart, walking uprightly … , doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving” (D&C 46:7). When we ask for a gift, our will must be aligned with God’s will (see D&C 46:30).

So lets see:
1. God can give us them to start off with
2.We can be worthy, have a desire, study, pray/seek/ask and align our will with God's
  
To develop our gifts, we must find out which gifts we have. We do this by praying and fasting. We should seek after the best gifts (see D&C 46:8). Sometimes patriarchal blessings will help us know which gifts we have been given.
We must be obedient and faithful to be given our gifts. We then should use these gifts to do the work of the Lord. They are not given to satisfy our curiosity or to prove anything to us because we lack faith. Of spiritual gifts, the Lord said, “They are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do” (D&C 46:9). Chapter 22

Now, even if I have a dozen shiny tools in my tool box, what good are they if they sit there unopened?  We need not just figure out the spiritual gifts we've been given.  We need to hone those skills.  We need to continue to develop and share them with others.  It's kind of a "use it or lose it" thing in that way.

Why do we need these gifts?

"The scriptures and modern-day prophets teach that there are many spiritual gifts (see Moro. 10:8D&C 46:13–26). Their purpose, among other things, is to give us strength, lead us to do good, help us resist temptation, encourage and edify us, increase our wisdom, help us judge righteously, and help us qualify for eternal life." Arnold

What really sticks out to me (because it's not a primary-type answer) is the need to judge righteously.  What is that?  Must it be done?  How do we do it?  Will these gifts really help us (Yes!)?

We HAVE to make judgements everyday.  What we wear, who we hang out with, how we spend our time etc...we need all the help/gifts/talents we can get in order to make the best judgement and continue on the straight and narrow.

Let's quickly talk about judging...

"There are two kinds of judging: final judgments, which we are forbidden to make, and intermediate judgments, which we are directed to make, but upon righteous principles."


 “Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour” (Lev. 19:15).
On one occasion the Savior chided the people, “Why even of yourselves judge ye not what is right?” (Luke 12:57). On another occasion he said, “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).

We must, of course, make judgments every day in the exercise of our moral agency, but we must be careful that our judgments of people are intermediate and not final. Thus, our Savior’s teachings contain many commandments we cannot keep without making intermediate judgments of people: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine” (Matt. 7:6); “Beware of false prophets. … Ye shall know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:15–16); and “Go ye out from among the wicked” (D&C 38:42).

"We all make judgments in choosing our friends, in choosing how we will spend our time and our money, and, of course, in choosing an eternal companion. Some of these intermediate judgments are surely among those the Savior referenced when He taught that “the weightier matters of the law” include judgment (Matt. 23:23). The scriptures not only command or contemplate that we will make intermediate judgments but also give us some guidance—some governing principles—on how to do so." Oaks

What are the principles of righteous judgement?
1. It must be intermediate (we are commanded never to make final judgement on anyone)
2. It must be guided by the spirit of the Lord (not anger, revenge, jealous etc.)
3. It must be within our stewardship
4. If at all possible, it must be made only AFTER we have an adequate knowledge of the facts
5. Whenever possible, refrain from judging people and instead judge the situation
6. You must be prepared to forgive
7. It must apply righteous standards

Unlike the common belief in today's society, we ARE supposed to judge.  In order to do so righteous we need to have as many spiritual gifts as possible.  Wouldn't it be easier to judge wisely if you were quick to observe, able to ponder and turn to God for answers?  These are all very attainable spiritual gifts.  Wouldn't judging righteously come easier if you had knowledge and wisdom?  Again, both gifts of the spirit, gifts you can have!
The truth is we will be making judgements every day of our lives and as it gets harder to judge, we'll need more gifts of the spirit.  Time to hit our knees! :)
(Not going to focus on this, but something to be aware of)

Satan Imitates the Gifts of the Spirit

  • How can we discern between the true gifts of the Spirit and Satan’s imitations?
Satan can imitate the gifts of tongues, prophecy, visions, healings, and other miracles. Moses had to compete with Satan’s imitations in Pharaoh’s court (see Exodus 7:8–22). Satan wants us to believe in his false prophets, false healers, and false miracle workers. They may appear to be so real to us that the only way to know is to ask God for the gift of discernment. The devil himself can appear as an angel of light (see 2 Nephi 9:9).
Satan wants to blind us to the truth and keep us from seeking the true gifts of the Spirit. Mediums, astrologers, fortune tellers, and sorcerers are inspired by Satan even if they claim to follow God. Their works are abominable to the Lord (see Isaiah 47:12–14Deuteronomy 18:9–10). We should avoid all associations with the powers of Satan.

The Savior taught that in the last days there would be many unholy and unrighteous people who would seek to deceive, using false gifts. He warned, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves” (3 Ne. 14:15; see also Matt. 7:15). He taught us how to know which gifts are of God and which are of the adversary: “Ye shall know them by their fruits” (3 Ne. 14:16; see also Matt. 7:16). “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance” (Gal. 5:22–23).
President Gordon B. Hinckley taught: “You recognize the promptings of the Spirit by the fruits of the Spirit—that which enlighteneth, that which buildeth up, that which is positive and affirmative and uplifting and leads us to better thoughts and better words and better deeds is of the Spirit of God. That which tears us down, which leads us into forbidden paths—that is of the adversary. … How do we recognize the promptings of the Spirit? You put it to that test. If it invites to do good, it is of God. If it inviteth to do evil, it is of the devil. … If you are doing the right thing and if you are living the right way, you will know in your heart what the Spirit is saying to you.” 4 How comforting it is to have a living prophet.

The bounds of the adversary are set. If we are striving to keep the commandments and to abide by the covenants we have made with the Lord, the adversary will not frustrate our progress. 5 As the Doctrine and Covenants tells us, “Hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass” (D&C 122:9). Arnold

We Must Be Careful with Our Gifts of the Spirit

  • How can we respect the sacredness of spiritual gifts?
The Lord said, “A commandment I give unto them, that they shall not boast themselves of these things, neither speak them before the world; for these things are given unto you for your profit and for salvation” (D&C 84:73). We must remember that spiritual gifts are sacred (see D&C 6:10).
In return for giving us these gifts, the Lord asks that we “give thanks unto God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing [we] are blessed with” (D&C 46:32).

I absolutely promise you that you have at least one incredible gift of the spirit already.

"One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power, position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable." Ashton

Sometimes we tend to cut ourselves short.  We tell ourselves that if we aren't a concert pianist, a brilliant poet, a favored teacher, or at the top of our field (career) that we must not have any talents. This is just unreasonable. Whether you search your patriarchal blessing, get down on your knees, or talk to those who know you best, you MUST allow yourselves to recognize your spiritual gifts!  They are there and it's your responsibility to discover and develop them!  

" It is up to each of us to search for and build upon the gifts which God has given...It is our right and responsibility to accept our gifts and to share them. God’s gifts and powers are available to all of us. " Ashton

"God does live. He does bless us with gifts. As we develop and share our God-given gifts and benefit from the gifts of those around us, the world can be a better place and God’s work will move forward at a more rapid pace." Ashton

I know that the Lord wants us, and needs us, to develop the gifts he's given us as well as the ones we desire.  The war against Satan requires it.  I promise you that you will never regret aligning your will with Gods;seeking out, preparing and working for these SACRED gifts.

Challenge:
1. Are there any gifts that you'd like to earn/recieve?  Will you pray about them?  Work for them?
2.Will you focus on trying to see the spiritual gifts in others?  See if it makes you think more kindly of them and if you're able to recognize their value more easily.

"Judge Not and Judging" Elder Dallin H. Oaks
"There Are Many Gifts" Marvin J. Ashton
"Messages from the Doctrine and Covenants: Seek Ye Earnestly the Best Gifts" Elder Mervyn B. Arnold
"Quick to Observe" Elder David A. Bednar 
"Gospel Principles, Chapter 22:The Gifts of the Spirit"

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Why is Work an Important Gospel Principle?

If you (young women) could list all the MOST important, ideal traits of your husband, what would they be?  Here are a few I think my Laurels will list:
-A return missionary (not just one that didn't get sent home, one that dove in and grew from boy to man) who is is worthy and HAPPY to take them to the temple.
-A man who is truly grateful for, respects and honors the priesthood

-Either an eager student or someone who has completed their education and has marketable skills
-Someone who is smart, funny, kind, athletic, interesting, patient, easy going, wise, humble, self-reliant, happy, loves kids, etc.
-This attractive man must also be able to provide for a family, hopefully handsomely

(I'm going to have my dad come in at this point.  He'll tell his story about a super, super rich guy who had everything you could dream of...yet his fiance' left him because he had no depth of character.  He was just rich)


These are all fantastic traits.  They are.  But I'd like to point out two things.  First, the kind of man who has successfully acquired ALL these traits will be looking for someone who also has the SAME (or similar) traits.  Thus, it's important that we become the kind of person we are hoping to marry.  Otherwise, when you find "the" guy for you, you won't be "the" girl for him.  Second, let's think about this for a moment.  HOW are we ever supposed to become all those things?  Are we always happy and easy going?  Are we wise in making our choices?  Do we have a good sense of humor?  Are we kind?  What about interesting and self-reliant? 

I don't know one person who would admit to being all those things, though I can think of people who come dang close.  That being said, I don't know any young person who has mastered these traits. 
Naturally, some people just come easy going, patient or funny. Likewise, some of us are more inclined to be kind and thoughtful than others.  There are those that are super athletic or love nature.  We all have our God-given talents.  But it is up to us to develop those to the fullest of our abilities AS WELL AS learn new ones.  And here is the answer to the HOW.  We learn...and WORK, WORK, WORK.

All of these 16-18 year old girls have crazy, awesome talents.  From soccer to dance to horseback riding, these girls are up to some pretty fantastic things.  So I'm going to pick on them :)  What are their talents?  What does it take to get these talents?  What motivates them to put forth all that effort?


“Work is the miracle by which talent is brought to the surface and dreams become reality.” -President Gordon B. Hinckley


In order to become decent at anything, be it a fantastic BFF, bishop or brick layer, we must work at it.   It's actually a commandment.  The Lord expected and commanded Adam (Genesis 3:19, Moses 4:25) to work, and we are no different.  Lucky for us, this commandment is just like every other commandment in the sense that there are infinite blessing that result in keeping it!  "As with any other commandment, there is joy in its keeping. To work—honestly and productively—brings contentment and a sense of self-worth. Having done all we can to be self-reliant, to provide for our own needs and those of our family, we can turn to the Lord in confidence to ask for what we might yet lack." (Bishop Burton)  Who doesn't want confidence when they turn to the Lord!?!


Let's go back to our list of adjectives.  Looking at it, it's kind of a vision right?  It's a vision, or, dream of what we'd like to see kneeling across the alter.  And since those kind of people are attracted to others with similar qualities, it's a vision of the person we'd also like to be.  It's a lovely vision.  I'd be thrilled to have accomplished all those things.  But what is this vision, without work?  President Hinckley hadsomething to say on the matter:

"Work without vision is drudgery. Vision without work is dreaming. Work plus vision-this is destiny."  We must A) find our vision/goal and B) get to work.  That will be where we find success.  This goes for things of temporal matters as well as spiritual and eternal matters.  


Work doesn't have to be drudgery


What kind of work/vision do you have on your plate right now?  What goals are you tackling?  How will those change in the next couple of years?  Will you go to school?  Will you get a job?  Will you serve a mission?  These kinds of things are only a few years away.  They WILL BE work, they will.  There is no getting around it.  However, you can make work easier, and more enjoyable if you are wise and learn from President Eyring:



Heavenly Father has given us all talents and gifts that can help us provide for ourselves and our families. Learning to recognize our talents and gifts—and interests—is an important first step in career preparation. President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency, learned from his father, Henry Eyring, to choose a career that complemented his interests.
Because of his love for science, Professor Henry Eyring encouraged his sons to major in physics as preparation for a career in science. While President Eyring was studying physics at the University of Utah, he had an exchange with his father that changed his career direction. He asked his father for help with a complex mathematical problem. “My father was at a blackboard we kept in the basement,” President Eyring recalls. “Suddenly he stopped. ‘Hal,’ he said, ‘we were working this same kind of problem a week ago. You don’t seem to understand it any better now than you did then. Haven’t you been working on it?’”
A little chagrined, President Eyring admitted he had not. President Eyring recalls his father’s response: “When I told him no, my father paused. It was really a very tender and poignant moment, because I knew how much he loved me and how much he wanted me to be a scientist. Then he said, ‘Hal, I think you’d better get out of physics. You ought to find something that you love so much that when you don’t have to think about anything, that’s what you think about.’” 2    

Personal Story: James and medicine...two cross country moves, 18 months of med school, 4 years of undergrad...misery.  What then?  Where is he now?
Personal Story: Dad fell into police work because he was good at it and it entertained him.  25 years later he found he'd rather be doing art than serving a search warrant (surprised the heck out of him).  That's when he started to create an exit plan from the force-He found something just like Henry Eyring described.  Fast forward a few years and he's "retired" and back at school honing his skills and perfecting his talent.  Career #2

The Blessings of Work

Proverbs 14:23 begins "In all labour there is profit..." What do you think this means?  Basically, we benefit from our work.  Can you think of all the ways we benefit from our work?  There are the more obvious ones we've already talked about (financial gain/temporal self reliance etc.) but how else do we benefit from work?
-builds character
-we learn to be more appreciative of what we have
-keeps us busy enough that we forget about what plagues us "It wasn't easy, but the work kept us from dwelling too much on the difficulties of our circumstances.  Although our situation didn't change overnight, it did change.  That's the thing about work.  If we simply keep at it--steady and constant--things certainly will improve"-President Uchtdorf talking about his childhood as a refugee.
 -"Work is an antidote for anxiety, an ointment for sorrow, and a doorway to possibility."- President Uchtdorf
-gives us a sense of accomplishment "...to work--honestly and productively--brings contentment and a sense of self-worth." Bishop H. David Burton
-inevitably, it teaches us to serve others
-helps our bodies physically (story of President Uchtdorf working as a child and healing his lungs without him even knowing it-from Bishop Burton's Talk)
-enables us to become like our Father in Heaven
-brings blessing to the lives of those you love

We just need to keep in mind that"Work can be ennobling and fulfilling, but remember Jacob's warning not to 'spend...your labor for that which cannot satisfy'".


"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success." President David O. McKay



Resources:
-Two Principles for Any Economy, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

-The Blessing of Work, Bishop H. David Burton
-Lesson 30: The Blessings of Work

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Why is Gratitude Important?

I have a theory. It's simple really.  I sincerely doubt many would argue with me here, at least not successfully.  Think it over, let me know if you agree.

Thesis:  A positive person can not be so without  an attitude of gratitude.  A grateful person can not be so without being positive.

There are many reasons to be grateful.  Some of those reasons are also responsibilities/commandments.  Others are blessings.  Help me name some of them...

Responsibilities/Commandments

-"Thank the Lord God in all things" (D&C 59:7)

-"Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving" (Psalm 147:7)
-"Let [our] heart be full of thanks unto God." (Alma 37:37)
-"Live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessing which [God] doth bestow upon you." (Alma 34:38)
-"Let us give thanks to [God], for he doth work righteousness forever." (Alma 26:8) "Our degree of gratitude is a measure of our love for Him (Elder Nelson)

Blessings that result from being grateful

President Uchtdorf
-"...makes life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious"
-"...those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding"
-"Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness."
- "When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation.  In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise.  In pain, we can glory in Christ's Atonement.  In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heavens embrace."
-"Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances.  It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges."
-"This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul.  It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind."
-"Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our vision.  It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all God's creation.  Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes!  A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues."
-"...those 'who [receive] all things with thankfulness shall be made gloriousand the things of this earth shall be added unto [them], even an hundred fold, yea, more.'" (D&C 78:19)

President Monson
-"...do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive?  Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God's love."
-"We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude."
-"My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

-We are simply happier
-We're easier to be around, making it easier to make and maintain relationships
-It's easier to keep an eternal perspective
-We end up uplifting those that uplifted us in the first place
-We empower ourselves and those around us
-We become POSITIVE, HAPPY people!

Why in the world would someone choose NOT to be grateful?  I bet I can come up with a few reasons.  Can you?

-"'Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?' (Christ feeding the 4,000) Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking. (Christ took the fish and bread, gave thanks, broke the bread, gave to his disciples and then the disciples to the multitude) Notice that the Savior gave thanks for what they had--and a miracle followed." "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."-Greek philosopher Epictetus
-"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted." -English Author Aldous Huxley
-"Often we feel grateful and intend to express our thanks but forget to do so or just don't get around to it.  Someone has said that 'feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.'"-President Monson
-Someone once said that comparison is the thief of Joy.  I'd venture to say that it's also the thief of gratitude.
-Pride.  When we think we do everything ourselves we are incapable of recognizing all that GOD has done in our lives.
-Envy. We're too busy wanting what other people have to notice all that we already have.
-Exhaustion. We're just so tired...all the time!
-Devastation. It's all we can do to get through the next ten minutes.  Trying to be grateful seems next to impossible.


What's the difference between being thankful for things and having an attitude of gratitude?

-"Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach.  It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to 'count our blessings'--and anyone who has tried this knows there are many--but I don't believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease.  In fact, most of the scriptural references do no speak of gratitude for things but rather suggest and overall spirit of attitude of gratitude...could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I'm suggestion that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances--whatever they may be." President Uchtdorf

Why is being grateful in our circumstances so much harder than being grateful for things?

-Having gratitude for something allows for hind site.  Being grateful in our circumstances requires us to be aware of our blessings at all times, especially during times of trial.
-Being grateful in our circumstances requires that we "trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.  By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, 'Not my will, but thine be done.'" President Uchtdorf
-"True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony.  It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will." President Uchtdorf
-We must remember the truths we DO know. (Plan of Happiness, the Atonement, the resurrection)
-Sometimes, most times, the bulk of our most meaningful blessings are not monetary or even physical in nature.  We can not see them.  We can not line them up on the kitchen table and count them.
-The things we are grateful for don't require so much inner contemplation.
-Being grateful in our circumstances requires a resolve to work as hard as it takes to see the silver lining

How can we cultivate this kind of gratitude?

-A prayerful life "The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil.  Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!" -President Joseph F. Smith
-"A grateful heart, then, comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives.  This requires conscious effort--at least until we have truly learned and clutivated and attitude of gratitude." President Monson
- It requires hard work. "reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given." President Monson
-MAKE the CHOICE "We can choose to be like Job...We can choose to be like the Mormon Pioneers...We can choose to be like the Prophet Joseph Smith...we can choose to be grateful NO MATTER WHAT." President Uchtdorf

What things/blessings do we all have to be grateful for (if there is time do the activity now)?

-Physical
-Spiritual
-Gospel
-Family/friends
-1st World Comforts
-Education

Activities:
Elder Nelson's Article
-What blessings can we all focus on daily? (Separate the talk into sections.  Have the girls read the sections but cut off the labels.  Then give the girls the assignment to come up with their own title for each section and summarize the section for the class.--each section points out a blessing)  Physical, Spiritual, Gospel

Personal Experience...wherever it fits...if the Holy Ghost pushes me to share...

Miscarriage.  The blessings IN my circumstances.
It was right after Christmas.  (#1) James had time off from work. (#2) My little sister was on break from school.  We had come home early from visiting family to find out the gender.  James and my two girls accompanied me to my 20 week appointment to find the gender of their soon to be sibling.  I had had bleeding but two ultrasounds (#3-pictures to remember baby by) had shown a healthy baby with nothing to worry about.  Still, the bleeding persisted (#4-it didn't come out of think air, I was slightly prepared) and I was worried.  When the technician got her equipment ready and asked if we were looking for anything in particular I said, "gender...but really just a heart beat.  I've had some complications and I just want to see if he/she is still alive."  I saw the same picture she saw.  My baby didn't look like a baby any more.  I KNEW it. (#5) There was no second guessing, there were no uncertainties.  I cried.  James cried.  My other babies tried to figure it all out.  We cried together (#6) I didn't have to retell or try to explain the bad news to James or my girls, they were there).  We did our best to explain things to our girls on the car ride home.  Then, they did things only THEY could get away with.  They made me laugh (#7). "At least we don't have to fight about names any more!" "The baby died.  Jesus wanted him to die." (Don't worry, we quickly fixed that one-they now say Jesus loves our baby and needed him/her home with Him) Various things that would be horrible coming from the mouths of any other human being.  Somehow it took the edge off.
When we got home I couldn't bear to make any phone calls.  I couldn't meet the answer of "boy or girl!?! with "neither."  I couldn't speak.  I couldn't say it out loud.  Email worked just fine.  Not one family member didn't reach out that day (#8) and many kept reaching out for weeks (#9).
The procedure was the next day.  December 31st.  5:00 AM. I could try to hold off and attempt to have this $4,000 procedure on next year's insurance but it was too risky.  The date held firm.  I needed time to process.  My best friend took my kids that night (#10).  All I needed was to spend time with James, in the quiet of our home.  That same friend patiently told me over text what I could expect the following morning (#11).  She calmed my own fears with the pains of her own experience the year prior.
When I had my head about me, I called my poor little sister.  She didn't ask to be the only family member in the state, but she was.  I told her I needed someone to be with my girls that morning and she came over THAT NIGHT(#12)...with some of my favorite comfort FOOD(#13).  I got up the next morning knowing that my two healthy children were in great hands (#14).  The procedure itself went well.  James was there when I woke up and he made sure I was taken care of (#15).  He and Margaret took care of the kids and I that whole first day.  Margaret stayed (#16)!  I only expected her to be there through the procedure to watch the kids but she stayed ALL DAY LONG.
My ward family treated it as though I had brought home a healthy baby.  They brought me meals. They called.  Left notes.  Gave hugs. Cried with me.  They came over even when I told them not too. They called me, even when they didn't know what to say(#17).  My brother called me every day, I'll never forget that (#18).
When the labs came back, they said they had no clue what happened.  They also didn't know the gender of the baby because he/she had stopped growing properly and they simply couldn't tell (#19).  They also said he/she measure like a 14 or 15 week baby, despite being 20 weeks along (#20).  This is one of the bigger blessing in my eyes because had he/she been bigger I would have had to do a still birth.  I don't think I would have survived that experience.
Surely there are details from this experience I'm forgetting (there were so many friends that sent me chocolate/lotions, texted, emailed, etc. and allowed me to feel that love continually).  But what I will never forget is the love I felt from those around me, both near and far.  Even more, I felt my Savior's love.  There were countless times where the Savior knew I could not do more, so He sent his angels to do it for me. He allowed me the tender mercies I needed to make it through that horrible time.
Tonight, I have counted 20 tender mercies in that experience.  I KNOW there were WAY more.  I know it, because I felt the angels lifting me up from both sides of the veil.  I know it because I am standing here before you today sharing this story.  Without thousands of these tender mercies I would still be lying in my bed wondering what I did wrong and why my baby went home so early.  But alas, I'm a fully functioning human being.  I can now empathize (#21) with other families like I never could before.  I appreciate my girls more than ever (#22).  My youngest is getting attention that she actually really needed (#23) and I'm in a calling I probably couldn't have done without a baby (#24).  I don't know if I'll ever have another baby.  It took me a lot to get pregnant last time.  But now, I know I can do hard things (#25).
The list of things I have to be grateful for as a result of that experience continue to grow.  As I reread this and add to my account, I bet it will grow even further.  The items I've mentioned are simply the things I was able to recognize as it was all unfolding.  But even just recognizing those got me through. They didn't simply help me make lemonade out of lemons.  Those points of gratitude did the impossible.  They made me look at the misery I was in and take it from a pile of brown, dying leaves to a vase full of stunning sunflowers.  Weeds will never be sunflowers.  My miscarriage will never be bright and beautiful.  But with the help of the Lord, and focusing on all the things I had to be grateful for, somehow, miraculously, those weeds appear in the sunshine and look as pretty as sunflowers.  It's hard to explain.  The ache in my heart will always be there.  The tears will always be just below the surface.  Yet, instead of remember the weeds, I remember the sunflowers.  The people that affected me like never before.  The realization the the Savior was concerned about ME and MY welfare.  What it felt like to be on the receiving end of service.  Watching my family come together and both mourn and serve at the same time.  It was extraordinary.Yes, I see sunflowers. In December and January, I think I saw wild sunflowers blooming on the side of the road.  By February and March, I could see real ones...sitting on my counter

"Being grateful in time of distress does NOT mean that we are pleased with our circumstances.  It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges." -President Uchtdorf  

(I'm bringing weeds, wild sunflowers, and real sun flowers and telling them that they get to choose what they see, what attitude they possess)

These are the talks I'm pulling from:
Grateful in Any Circumstance, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
The Divine Gift of Gratitude, President Thomas S. Monson

Sunday, September 7, 2014

How Do The Things I Say Affect Me And Those Around Me

"Private choices are not private; they all have public consequences...Our society is the sum total of what millions of individuals do in their private lives."
 ~Elder James E. Faust

(Sign in my living room)


Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." ~President Thomas S. Monson


"Your thoughts become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your character and your character, ultimately, becomes your destiny."
(Rephrased pounded into my head by my dad--original quote seems to be attributed to half a dozen people)

These are some of my all-time favorite quotes.  Who can guess why? As I walk through life I am attempted to keep perspective.  These are all quotes that remind me of what's important and continue to inspire me to become the person Heavenly Father intends for me to be.  What are some of your favorite quotes?  Why are they important to you? (think about Captain Moroni and the Title of Liberty, Alma 46:11-22) I can not imagine what life would be like without the daily opportunity to communicate with one another.  The written language and the spoken word are two of the Lord's greatest tools and blessings he has given us.  They enable us to do many great, influential things (teach, preach, love, testify, preserve, express/convey, sympathize/empathize, relate one to another, encourage, uplift etc.) for ourselves and those around us.
Examples of positive influences simply by using words:
Have any of you had any experiences with someone saying something that truly uplifted and inspired you?
Scriptures: Abinadi Alma 5:9–12, Alma the younger, Captain Moroni, Joseph Smith, Christ himself
Personal stories: Dad and my eyebrows/Grandma and my hair, Pat and George about raising kids in the gospel/what words really mean, patriarchal blessing/father's blessings, Mom "if they don't feel loved, nothing else matters"-changed my outlook on life

(On the board, write:)
Words we read. Words we hear. Words we write. Words we speak. Ephesians 4:29–32 How do you feel about the kind of language that you read, hear, and use? How do they affect you initially, and later on?  How do words invite or discourage guidance from the Holy Ghost?

How do our words affect us? (thoughts-actions/words-habits-character-destiny) We become the kind of person we are portraying.  We also dictate how we are perceived by others with the things we say.  What we say creates a tone and an attitude for our life.
How do they affect others?  We can either build up ourselves and those around us, or we can tear them down.  There are a millions way to accomplish each outcome, but the end result is the same.  We are either uplifting or tearing down. We either invite the spirit into our lives and the lives of those around us, or we send him packing and boot him out the door.  
Proverbs 15:1–416:241 Timothy 4:12James 3:2–10Alma 31:5D&C 25:12108:7 How does Heavenly Father feel about the words we use? We need to be very careful.  One day, we will be held accountable.
Exodus 20:7Matthew 12:34-3715:11Luke 12:2–3;1 Timothy 5:13D&C 42:27 
How do they affect the Holy Ghost? Ephesians 4:29–322 Nephi 32:2–3D&C 63:61–64 

We live in a day and age where we can reach people in every corner of the earth at a moment's notice.  We can speak face to face, on the phone, in a video, in various forms of texts, in pictures, emails,blogs/forums, letters, packages etc.  In speech and written word, we have incredible forms of communication!  What a blessing the Lord has provided us.  Not only do we have the ability to communicate, but we can do it instantly and without physical constraints. Family members are never far from an "I love you", the gospel message can be taught to just about any human being in any place at any time, scriptures and the words of modern day prophets and apostles are always in our pockets, advice from a wise parent is only a dial away, memories are effortlessly recorded and shared, testimonies are shared in every form, and "happy birthdays" and compliments to friends have never been easier to give.
What ways do you POSITIVELY use your words ( and communication devices) on a daily basis?


UNFORTUNATELY, like most giant blessings the Lord has given us, Satan has figured out how to use them to accomplish HIS agenda too.  An age old problem has been the temptation to say and write regrettable things out of jealousy, anger, spite, ignorance etc.  But now, we have even more ways to say/write these thing and to reach more people with a greater frequency.


In what ways are we helping the Adversary with our words?  Do we have any control over this?  (Absolutely!  Not only can we practice controlling our thoughts AND the words coming out of our mouths, we can also refuse to take offense to the things other people say/write)
Examples: Gossiping, name calling/insults/stereotyping, speaking in anger, telling secrets (the kind that keep people "out of the loop" on purpose, those that spread gossip, etc.), foul language, sarcasm (let's be honest, sarcasm is an art many people never learn to master-they always hurt feelings.  It's safer not to use it, especially if you don't really know/understand your audience) and any other thing that makes the SPIRIT WITHDRAW and/or hurts another one of God's children in any way

What are some less obvious ways our language can hurt us/those around us?
-When we are negative or abrasive it makes it hard to make and keep friends

-It also makes it hard to get and keep jobs
-You become less approachable, both to children and adults
-People around you feel like they can't trust you with their thoughts/feelings/personal things
-The spirit withdraws quickly and becomes very hard to invite back
-We miss opportunities with all kinds of people to do endless amounts of activities

-The way we are remembered is less than flattering
-People won't know the real you because it's too hard to get through your fence of words
-Respect and trust is nearly impossible to earn if your language does prove you worthy of it.

-Communication makes or breaks marriages and families all the time.  Again, it's not just what we say, but HOW we say it...and WHY we say it...and how often we say it.
-Poor communication can make us unreliable, even if unintentional
-Obviously, you can hurt others to the point of tears.  But you can seriously cripple someones personal development for years to come(story of my 'friend' in the third grade who said, "You're too fat to be my friend.")
What kinds of things can we do to fight the adversary and keep written and spoken language clean and uplifting?
-Start with your thoughts (back to my favorite quotes-thoughts become deeds/actions)

-Pick friends very carefully
-Choose music (and other entertainment) that invites the spirit-or at the very least, doesn't detract from it!!!
-Be willing to politely walk away or change the subject when those around you use inappropriate language.
-Speak kindly and positively about others. Choose not to insult others or put them down, even in joking. 
-Avoid gossip of any kind
-Avoid speaking in anger. When you are tempted to say harsh or hurtful things, leave them unsaid. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1)
-"The willingness to see through each other’s eyes will transform “corrupt communication” into “minister[ing] grace." Elder W. Craig Zwick, What Are You Thinking?
-Use your opportunities to speak (both in your head/to yourself and out loud to others) to spread not only a positive message, but a positive ATTITUDE 
-Focus on the positive"I have often thought that Nephi’s being bound with cords and beaten by rods must have been more tolerable to him than listening to Laman and Lemuel’s constant murmuring. 8 Surely he must have said at least once, “Hit me one more time. I can still hear you.” Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative things to face, but please accept one of Elder Holland’s maxims for living—no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
-Age old trick-hum you favorite hymn
-CHOOSE NOT TO BE offended
-Remember you are an EXAMPLE to others.  When we remember that the things we say/write carry farther than our own heads and the four walls around us we can find the motivation we need to carry on and be wise."Joanna was one of only three members of the Church in her high school and the only young woman in her ward. She committed to herself and the Lord that she would never use bad language. When she was paired with a young man for a school project who had not made the same commitment, she did not lower her standards. She asked him to respect and honor her values. Over time, with many gentle and some not-so-gentle reminders, her friend formed new habits and used cleaner language. Many people noticed the difference, including his father, who thanked Joanna for being a good influence in his son’s life." Ann M. Dibb, Arise and Shine Forth
-Practice TACT.  This is an art form.  We can not always say nice things.  Sometimes we HAVE to fix problems in order grow and progress.  The key is to be kind and tactful.  
-For every one criticism, come up with five compliments
-Paul put it candidly, but very hopefully. He said to all of us: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but [only] that which is good … [and] edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
“And grieve not the holy Spirit of God. …
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you. …
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29–32.
The things we say are a good indicator of the character we are developing

Mosiah 4:40 "But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish.  And now, oh man, remember, and perish not." 

"Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, The Tongue of Angels 

I challenge you to choose at least one way you can be more positive and communicate more effectively, uplifting and inspiring others.  This week, I want you to wake up each morning with your goal in mind.  See if you can be a force for good with something as simple as your words!  (Don't worry, I'll be following up with you! ;) ) 

Favorite Quotes (found while studying for this less)

“The most important of all the commandments of God is that one that you are having the most difficulty keeping today.” Harold B. Lee 

"Like all gifts “which cometh from above,” words are “sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit.” "Jeffrey R. Holland

“The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God, looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience.”  Elder Orson F. Whitney

"No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland